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Handsome Jack - Hero of Pandora ([personal profile] thedifferencebetween) wrote2017-10-03 09:42 am

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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, HANDSOME JACK.

FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 021.07.222.57

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ikonsuit: <user name="ikonsuit"> (π’”π’˜ + oh woah a gun)

Oct. 2nd

[personal profile] ikonsuit 2020-09-30 10:53 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He's... not going to read the backlog of messages he's posted in the week before. The true horror of this place isn't the monsters; it's the lack of delete button. ]

You wanted a business. I've got a bakery. [ Somehow. For some reason. He doesn't want to remember how his name ended up on that lease. ] Could be a good front. Pastries in the front, bodies in the back. Sell your Mrs. Lovett Meat Pies without making it too obvious to the humans.
ikonsuit: <user name="ikonsuit"> (π’”π’˜ + green tea)

<???>

[personal profile] ikonsuit 2020-10-01 03:39 am (UTC)(link)
You know where to find me.

[ Here might be a good place for a positive message about how things will all work out, but Slade's done enough of that and he probably won't ever do it again. ]
ikonsuit: <user name="ikonsuit"> (π’”π’˜ + green tea)

<pops>

[personal profile] ikonsuit 2020-10-02 01:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Big enough to play tennis in.

Around 2,200 square feet, that's including kitchen space.
ikonsuit: <user name="ikonsuit"> (π’”π’˜ + figures)

<strokesdeath>

[personal profile] ikonsuit 2020-10-04 01:30 am (UTC)(link)
Same reason I got married, started an AA group, and talked to you for hours about how much you love your kid.

I was high for a week straight. Doesn't need to go any further than that.
ikonsuit: <user name="ikonsuit"> (𝒅𝒔 + staff)

< D.Stroke69 >

[personal profile] ikonsuit 2020-10-04 02:00 am (UTC)(link)
Smart choice.

Didn't say you don't. Only said I was high enough to listen.

Watch your weaknesses, Jack. Wouldn't want someone to come along and make a target of them.


[ It's a shame that this well-meaning advice comes across as more of a threat. As it were, Slade is just terrible at well-meaning advice. ]
ikonsuit: <user name="ikonsuit"> (π’”π’˜ + glasses)

<cellist>

[personal profile] ikonsuit 2020-10-04 03:06 am (UTC)(link)
Don't remind me.

Sure. Thought it was pretty clear cut, though. 44 pages to say 'you cook, I kill'.
ikonsuit: <user name="ikonsuit"> (𝒅𝒔 + landing)

<cellist>

[personal profile] ikonsuit 2020-10-04 03:41 am (UTC)(link)
It’s been known to happen.

Tends to work out better when everyone’s on the same page. In those instances.
ikonsuit: <user name="ikonsuit"> (𝒅𝒔 + glare)

<cellist>

[personal profile] ikonsuit 2020-10-04 10:59 am (UTC)(link)
You really want to know how often I sleep with my bosses, Jack?

As my boss, I’ll have to question your professionalism.
ikonsuit: <user name="ikonsuit"> (π’”π’˜ + reading)

<cellist>

[personal profile] ikonsuit 2020-10-04 04:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Right.

And you’re the dude who signed them.

So where does that leave us?
ikonsuit: <user name="ikonsuit"> (𝒅𝒔 + more mask)

<cellist>

[personal profile] ikonsuit 2020-10-04 05:45 pm (UTC)(link)
'Lobotomized' is one word for being drugged past the point of recognition. It’s good that nothing happened. Can’t imagine the person I was then would have allowed it to go past handshakes and high-fives, anyhow.

And I don’t expect anything. That’s the point. Cover the bases if we frack (can’t swear, you know what I’m trying to say), don’t lose sleep if we don’t.

Doesn’t really matter how it goes down. The list was boilerplate standard. I’m sure you’ve seen it before.

But since we’re on the topic, what *can* you do?
ikonsuit: <user name="ikonsuit"> (π’”π’˜ + green tea)

<cellist>

[personal profile] ikonsuit 2020-10-04 06:41 pm (UTC)(link)
No offense taken.

And don’t worry. I’ve got knock-knock jokes to keep you on your toes.

Haven’t done anything with tentacles since my tour in Japan. Most I can do is electrocute and make you feel like shoot

sheesh*

shiitake mushrooms*

for a while after. But electricity doesn’t mix too good with your type. Gonna leave that one off the table.
ikonsuit: <user name="ikonsuit"> (𝒅𝒔 + shoulder)

<cellist>

[personal profile] ikonsuit 2020-10-04 08:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Don’t throw electroshocks at an electrobot. Got it. Thanks for the tip. Couldn’t have figured it out on my own.

Seriously, Jack. I’m not going to zap you. Any of you. I don’t want you dead, and I think I’ve had my fill of monster killings for the time being.

And contrary to popular belief, I don’t find murder to be all that sexy.


[ He’s read the fanfics. He knows what people think. ]
ikonsuit: <user name="ikonsuit"> (π’”π’˜ + reading)

<cellist>

[personal profile] ikonsuit 2020-10-04 10:29 pm (UTC)(link)
So you talked to Harley. Doesn't matter if you don't believe me, but I'll tell you anyway: it was an accident.

[ Unlike with Adeline, Slade won't blame Harley for throwing the first punch. ]

Funny. Murder was also on my agenda. Didn't end with sex, but murder alone rarely does it for me.

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