Handsome Jack - Hero of Pandora (
thedifferencebetween) wrote2017-10-03 09:42 am
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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, HANDSOME JACK. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 021.07.222.57 *** H.Jack69 has joined 021.07.222.57 <USERNAME> First sentence of message. <BANNED USER> SCREENED MESSAGE. UNSCREEN? Y/N -- sample for when you ban someone <USERNAME> First sentence of message. <USERNAME> First sentence of message. | ||||
Oct. 2nd
You wanted a business. I've got a bakery. [ Somehow. For some reason. He doesn't want to remember how his name ended up on that lease. ] Could be a good front. Pastries in the front, bodies in the back. Sell your Mrs. Lovett Meat Pies without making it too obvious to the humans.
< H.Jack69 >
but ill get back 2 u
dealing with sum shit
<???>
[ Here might be a good place for a positive message about how things will all work out, but Slade's done enough of that and he probably won't ever do it again. ]
< H.Jack69 >
btw quick ???
how bigs this bakery?
<pops>
Around 2,200 square feet, that's including kitchen space.
< H.Jack69 >
do i even wanna kno why u have a bakery now?
<strokesdeath>
I was high for a week straight. Doesn't need to go any further than that.
< H.Jack69 >
heard about ur 'marriage'
but i promised by fave gal id stay out of it so im not saying anything else
but theres nothing weird about talking about how much i love my kid.
i DO love her
< D.Stroke69 >
Didn't say you don't. Only said I was high enough to listen.
Watch your weaknesses, Jack. Wouldn't want someone to come along and make a target of them.
[ It's a shame that this well-meaning advice comes across as more of a threat. As it were, Slade is just terrible at well-meaning advice. ]
< H.Jack69 >
bee tee dubs...
while were talking about shit we did during lobotomy week
had a question about that contract i signed
<cellist>
Sure. Thought it was pretty clear cut, though. 44 pages to say 'you cook, I kill'.
< H.Jack69 >
no im curious about the fucking part
weird way to say ur dtf
<cellist>
Tends to work out better when everyoneβs on the same page. In those instances.
< H.Jack69 >
u player u
<cellist>
As my boss, Iβll have to question your professionalism.
< H.Jack69 >
i just said i bet it happens a lot n called u a player
those are observational comments, not queries
ur the dude with the sex clause in his business contracts
<cellist>
And youβre the dude who signed them.
So where does that leave us?
< H.Jack69 > - CW NSFW Talk
but im guessing it leaves us probably having 2 rewrite that section cuz i failed 2 mention at the time that as a robot, i cant perform half of the sex acts specifically mentioned
n c that kind of thing could cause problems if we DO end up fucking, cuz im pretty sure it included that bjs were def a thing u expect
i dont have a mouth
or any other holes or orifices at all so
thats a thing
<cellist>
And I donβt expect anything. Thatβs the point. Cover the bases if we frack (canβt swear, you know what Iβm trying to say), donβt lose sleep if we donβt.
Doesnβt really matter how it goes down. The list was boilerplate standard. Iβm sure youβve seen it before.
But since weβre on the topic, what *can* you do?
< H.Jack69 >
and that aint u, buddy!
dont get me wrong, ur hot and all, but u got that strong silent thing going on n thats boring as hell in bed
i mean parts of me vibrate and ive got robo-tentacles so....
<cellist>
And donβt worry. Iβve got knock-knock jokes to keep you on your toes.
Havenβt done anything with tentacles since my tour in Japan. Most I can do is electrocute and make you feel like shoot
sheesh*
shiitake mushrooms*
for a while after. But electricity doesnβt mix too good with your type. Gonna leave that one off the table.
< H.Jack69 >
gonna say this once n not again so learn it first time
unless ur a sim urself...DONT EVER USE ELECTRICITY ON A SIM! an unregulated current into 1 of us is basically like jabbing us with an elephant dose of heroin laced with draino
u dont wanna kno what i did 2 the only dude stupid enough 2 try it on me
<cellist>
Seriously, Jack. Iβm not going to zap you. Any of you. I donβt want you dead, and I think Iβve had my fill of monster killings for the time being.
And contrary to popular belief, I donβt find murder to be all that sexy.
[ Heβs read the fanfics. He knows what people think. ]
< H.Jack69 >
also ur just wrong there, murder is hella sexy! first thing i did when i was back 2 normal
murder followed by grate sex!
<cellist>
[ Unlike with Adeline, Slade won't blame Harley for throwing the first punch. ]
Funny. Murder was also on my agenda. Didn't end with sex, but murder alone rarely does it for me.
< H.Jack69 >
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