Handsome Jack here! I'm way too busy being awesome to answer the phone, but tell me why you're calling and if you're important enough, your people will hear from my people.
Mmm. In the very near future I'm gonna ask you about that, cuz I've played enough B'n'B and read enough fantasy comics to know I might actually be interested in your whole story, but for now...
[Jack knocks back his last shot and pulls out his wallet.]
How about we move this chat back to my place? I may not have any music from back home - nobody does, it sucks - but I got some local shit that's not bad. And it's actual vinyls, so that's pretty cool.
[Plus they're going back to Jack's place eventually anyway, this has already been established. But they're having fun, and it'd be nice to be able to start transitioning into the other half of the evening. Chatting and making out are always a nice combo to ease into banging somebody new.]
Oh I've got my own mansion. Because I'm rich. Which is also why I don't give a shit that you can only cover one round. I could probably buy this literal bar.
[Jack's been here a while, and he knows how to make money. And steal money. And keep a small army of Pokemon trained to steal money. He hasn't been sitting on his ass or anything.]
And don't worry about it, I got plenty of bullshit of my own.
[It's an important point, as far as Jack's concerned. He's proud of the wealth he's amassed in his time here.]
[And his place is within easy walking distance of the bar, even on a cold night. He didn't bother with one of his Rapidash tonight, not wanting the extra hassle of tacking up.]
[His mansion is on the smaller side, for a mansion, but ulta-modern in design, all squares and clean lines and sleek polished stone. It's obviously the house of someone with money.]
This is just my Goldenrod place, I got another one in Blackthorn. Ski chalet. I don't ski much, but watching the newbies learn and fall down all the time? Hilarious!
[It's weird. Steven ought to find Jack's little obsession with how rich and successful he is to be obnoxious, but somehow it's... weirdly cute on him? God. He doesn't even know anymore.
The mansion itself is nice, honestly. It's a quality rich person's house, not a rip-off McMansion in the suburbs. He approves.]
Honestly, I don't either. I mean, I've been to Tahoe. I learned. But it's just-- not my thing. But hey, if this works out, maybe I can see your other place eventually.
Yeah, I know how, I've done it a couple times here, but it's cold and it's not that exciting and I'd rather be comfy by the fire with a spiked cocoa.
[When Jack steps inside through the entryway into the living room, Pokemon scatter. There's a fair number of various canine Pokemon, and a difficult to count number of Meowth. And one...massive blob of fur and horns that looks like an over-sized, melted Houndoom. It's fat rolls are practically swallowing the external bones that decorate its body. It lifts its head and gives a very wet howl of greeting, but doesn't move.]
So welcome to my place, make yourself comfortable.
[The furniture is much the same as the house, sleek and ultra modern - lots of black leather and polished glass.]
I'll get the fireplace going in a minute. Not for atmosphere, just because it's so friggin cold. But the atmosphere doesn't hurt!
God, me too. Mexican or Anglo hot chocolate? Because if you haven't had proper hot chocolate, you really should.
[Wow that's a lot of Pokemon. God, Jack really is every eccentric rich person's stereotype, isn't he?
He'll just. Get himself half-sprawled on a leather couch, turned inward so that when Jack gets back, they can sit and talk and look at each other. He's definitely getting used to the mask. He wonders if Jack will take it off for sex?]
But yeah, Jesus, I know, it's terrible out there. Nowhere needs to be this cold outside the mountains.
Truxican chocolate is the best friggin chocolate in the galaxy. Which is what we call Mexican for some reason now? I dated a Truxican actress for a little bit, she had this phenomenal chocolate imported from some planet...
[Jack's busying himself with the little things you do when you bring someone home as he talks. Shooing all the animals out - or physically hauling, in the case of Doom Boner the obese Houndoom - and getting his shoes and blazer off.]
I forget which, but god was it good! She made the real shit, melted down the chocolate and stirred in milk... That extra effort really pays off.
[Not that Jack often exerts that sort of effort himself, he pays other people to do it for him. He gets the fire going and pulls an album out off the shelf, already knowing exactly what to pull out in this particular instance.]
So this is, I kid you not, Seismitoad the Wet Sprocket.
[He winks at Steven as he puts the album on. Oh but it's nice to have a good looking guy draped over his couch. And he is good looking, Jack's not even lowering his standards in a time of drought. He's got that whole sexy nerd thing going on, Jack digs it.]
[That startles another laugh out of Steven]. My god, really? Jesus, it even sounds like them. I feel like I'm in high school again.
But yeah. Yeah, that's how you do it. That's how my Abuelita always made it. Maybe I can make it for you sometime? I'm not much of a cook, but I can handle hot chocolate.
[He'll just, lean in closer a little when Jack makes it over to the couch.]
I am not gonna say no to that. I am a pretty good cook but I just get it at cafes. I like to cook, though. Stick on some music, just kinda zone out and make a nice dinner...it's relaxing.
[Jack's body language is all at ease. He's got one arm stretched over the back of the couch, angled towards Steven. That comment about being back in high school rings true for him - it's weird, he kind of feels like he's a teenager again on one of those not-really-a-dates.]
[He shouldn't be surprised, it's been a while since he was in anything like this kind of position.]
Ya know this might sound corny, but I'm having a really good time tonight.
Mm. Well, I don't mind being cooked for. Not at all.
[He's got a little smile on his face as he gazes back at Jack. This is-- well, it's a lot less businesslike than most of his hookups have been since the disaster with Liam. Despite them being colleagues and Jack technically being his superior and also the whole thing where he owes him some favors for getting him a radio tower position.
It is almost stupidly like a date, despite the fact that it's explicitly not one, and Steven finds that somehow he doesn't mind that. There's still every potential that this will end badly, with accusations of being cold and ruthless, an over-ambitious closet case--
But somehow, he doesn't think it will? Jack's a businessman. He's going to get ambition, if nothing else. And they aren't dating, even if this feels like a date. They're two friends. Who're going to be fucking. Nothing more than that.]
Yeah. I'm having a good time too. Usually when I hook up with someone, we just get to business. But this, this is nice.
Exactly! Don't get me wrong, there's a time and a place for wham, bam, thank you man. But it's just nice to be able to hang out with somebody and get laid.
[And Jack's not embarrassed to admit it. They're people, people need connections with other people. It's natural and normal. After so many failed attempts at forging some kind of actual friendship with somebody else...]
[It's a major need that's being met. It's good. He wasn't expecting this and it's good. And sex is always better when two people actually like each other and are on similar vibes.]
But I've also gotta say...you are very good looking. I was not expecting that when I asked you to vid chat.
[Steven laughs, rubbing the back of his neck.] I mean, I used to read news on television. They want people who look good.
It's-- kind of weird, actually. Looking like this again after everything. For real, not just to normal people who can't see through illusions. I mean, it's great, I missed it so much but--
[He shakes his head.]
You're not bad yourself, you know. I like your body.
[He doesn't know what Jack's real face looks like. But the body, he likes.]
And you haven't even gotten the full view yet! I work out a lot.
[He has to, considering his lifestyle. Jack likes his vices and they take a toll. Sure, he's soft around the middle and he's got some love handles starting, but he's got great arms and a good chest and a fit little ass. Considering he's in his mid-fifties, he's doing good.]
But yeah, you've got that TV kinda face. The hot nerd thing, I like it.
[And he gets what Steven mean about liking to look like yourself. It's the whole point of Jack's mask, so he can keep his original and undamaged face. He really is gonna have to ask about whatever weird fairy shit this dude went through.]
[But later. For now he leans in a little bit more, grinning, missmatched eyes holding Steven's.]
And you have got a very enticing mouth.
let me know if you want to fade to black or go on!
[Steven licks his lips.] Right. I did say I was going to give you a blowjob, didn't I?
[He'll just... slide off the couch and onto the floor, so he can kneel in front of Jack, reaching to undo his pants.
(GOD HE HAS MISSED THIS. He absolutely loves to suck cock and it's practically fucking impossible when your mouth is full of fucking razors. Like, maybe he could suck off a few kinds of Elementals still, depending what their flesh had turned to, he doesn't know, but most guys? No. Not going to to happen.)]
[Wow and he is just going for it! Jack's not complaining, not in the least, he just figured there'd be some necking and heavy petting first.]
I am seriously impressed with your enthusiasm, Steven, but uh...you might wanna work up to that.
[Just a suggestion. When he became richer than god, Jack had paid the same surgical team who'd transformed Tim to work their magic on little Jack. Which wasn't quite so little anymore, and showed no signs of artificial enhancement. And he's already half hard from the fact a hot guy is kneeling down in front of him.]
[He's silently grateful that the only sex he's had in years were on those weird fuzzy weekends. Really helps fight the natural effects of age on the dick.]
[He looks up, an amused smile playing on his lips.]
Mm. I suppose you might have a point. We haven't even kissed, have we?
[Not that he always does with his hook-ups, but this one feels different.
He lets go of Jack's pants and then braces himself against the couch, hands on either side of Jack, so that he can push himself half to his feet and lean over Jack in order to kiss him. It's-- interesting kissing a mask. Not entirely like he expected.]
[It's not a requirement, but Jack never got the whole 'kissing is too intimate for outside of relationships' thing some people latched onto. If your junk was gonna be inside someone else, a tongue in their mouth is nothing.]
[He leans right back into it, open mouthed and eager. He's lost whatever initial weirdness he ever had about making out masked - it's high quality synth skin, his own body heat comes through it, it's an extremely reasonable imitation of skin. But still an imitation, not exactly right. And of course, there's the metal latches at Jack's chin and temples and along the edge of the mask where his sideburns would be.]
[He pulls away just enough to talk without being too mumbled.]
Mmm. But mostly...I'm thinking you don't wanna jump right into trying to go down on the full uncut eight inches I'm packing.
[Yeah, see, he expected it to feel a lot less like imitation skin and a lot more like... he's not even sure. Painted metal? Plastic?]
Eight inches? Really? Jesus, Jack.
[He's impressed, despite himself.]
I am, by the way. Cut. It's an American thing?
[Just going to maybe stay leaning over him like this. He never gets to loom over people in his normal life. They find it threatening and he doesn't want people to feel threatened around him, because white people that feel threatened are liable to lash out and he doesn't need that trouble in his life.
But. Sex is different. There are guys, more than enough of them, that like him using his size and build to his advantage. Who like being loomed at or pinned to the wall or the couch. He'd developed a second sense for finding them in bars and clubs. It was even easier on Grindr.]
[Jack grins up at the other man, clearly not at all bothered by the dominant positioning and body language. Sure, he enjoys playing the aggressor in bed, but the opposite's just as fun. And a lot more rare for a guy like Handsome Jack.]
I always drank my Ovaltine.
[He can make pre-expansion media references with Steven! And he's got a lot.]
And yeah, it's not like that's something no one does anymore, I just was born on a planet that didn't exactly have...anything. 'Medical care' was basically a lot of positive thinking and back alley drugs at insane prices.
[And besides that, he was entirely unwanted and honestly lucky his grandmother had even bothered to feed him.]
I've been with plenty of cut dudes before, I'm not gonna get weird about it.
It's not like it really matters. I know some people get hung up over really weird things, but not me. A cock's a cock, the styling details are inconsequential as long as you can get it up. General 'you', obviously, I...I assume you can get it up.
[They wouldn't be here otherwise!]
[And considering this is their first time smashing, Jack's not gonna bring up any kink talk. Just some good old fashioned rogering, which he is desperately in need of. If this becomes a regular thing - which he's pretty sure it will, they get along, they find each other attractive, it'd be weird if the sex was bad - then they can talk fancy stuff.]
[Jack's hands run along Steven's arms, not content to be passive despite perfectly willing to play the submissive.]
[He likes those hands. Likes that Jack isn't passive, even though Steven is doing his best to top the hell out of him.]
Yeah. I mean, the drive's a little-- it's not what it was before my life went to fairy hell. But that doesn't mean that it's gone.
[And honestly, if Jack's in his mid-fifties, it's probably just as well his libido is not what it was. He's not going to say that out loud, but. He'll think it a little.
And maybe punctuate that statement with a long, drawn-out kiss. To prove how very much the drive is still there.]
That happens to us all, hot stuff, fairy bullshit or not.
[Jack would agree, were he aware of Steven's thoughts. He's got pills - apparently E.D. hasn't been eradicated in Pokeworld - but it's not like he's always got them on him or has the time to take one when the need arises.]
[Luckily that's not an issue right now, he's perfectly ready to go. And getting more ready by the minute - Steven knows what he's doing in the make-out department. It's nice. Jack's hands keep going, until he reaches the other man's shoulders and sort of pulls him down into the kiss.]
Ya know...you're starting to look pretty overdressed....
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[Jack knocks back his last shot and pulls out his wallet.]
How about we move this chat back to my place? I may not have any music from back home - nobody does, it sucks - but I got some local shit that's not bad. And it's actual vinyls, so that's pretty cool.
[Plus they're going back to Jack's place eventually anyway, this has already been established. But they're having fun, and it'd be nice to be able to start transitioning into the other half of the evening. Chatting and making out are always a nice combo to ease into banging somebody new.]
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But yeah, no, let's go back to your place. You've got your own room.
[He'll extract a bill from his own wallet and pass it towards Jack.]
Here. Sorry I can't pay for an equal share yet, but this ought to cover one round?
And-- I'll tell you about it. But later. I've got to warn you, though, it's pretty bullshit from start to finish.
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[Jack's been here a while, and he knows how to make money. And steal money. And keep a small army of Pokemon trained to steal money. He hasn't been sitting on his ass or anything.]
And don't worry about it, I got plenty of bullshit of my own.
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But yeah. Let's go see this mansion of yours.
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[It's an important point, as far as Jack's concerned. He's proud of the wealth he's amassed in his time here.]
[And his place is within easy walking distance of the bar, even on a cold night. He didn't bother with one of his Rapidash tonight, not wanting the extra hassle of tacking up.]
[His mansion is on the smaller side, for a mansion, but ulta-modern in design, all squares and clean lines and sleek polished stone. It's obviously the house of someone with money.]
This is just my Goldenrod place, I got another one in Blackthorn. Ski chalet. I don't ski much, but watching the newbies learn and fall down all the time? Hilarious!
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The mansion itself is nice, honestly. It's a quality rich person's house, not a rip-off McMansion in the suburbs. He approves.]
Honestly, I don't either. I mean, I've been to Tahoe. I learned. But it's just-- not my thing. But hey, if this works out, maybe I can see your other place eventually.
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[When Jack steps inside through the entryway into the living room, Pokemon scatter. There's a fair number of various canine Pokemon, and a difficult to count number of Meowth. And one...massive blob of fur and horns that looks like an over-sized, melted Houndoom. It's fat rolls are practically swallowing the external bones that decorate its body. It lifts its head and gives a very wet howl of greeting, but doesn't move.]
So welcome to my place, make yourself comfortable.
[The furniture is much the same as the house, sleek and ultra modern - lots of black leather and polished glass.]
I'll get the fireplace going in a minute. Not for atmosphere, just because it's so friggin cold. But the atmosphere doesn't hurt!
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[Wow that's a lot of Pokemon. God, Jack really is every eccentric rich person's stereotype, isn't he?
He'll just. Get himself half-sprawled on a leather couch, turned inward so that when Jack gets back, they can sit and talk and look at each other. He's definitely getting used to the mask. He wonders if Jack will take it off for sex?]
But yeah, Jesus, I know, it's terrible out there. Nowhere needs to be this cold outside the mountains.
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[Jack's busying himself with the little things you do when you bring someone home as he talks. Shooing all the animals out - or physically hauling, in the case of Doom Boner the obese Houndoom - and getting his shoes and blazer off.]
I forget which, but god was it good! She made the real shit, melted down the chocolate and stirred in milk... That extra effort really pays off.
[Not that Jack often exerts that sort of effort himself, he pays other people to do it for him. He gets the fire going and pulls an album out off the shelf, already knowing exactly what to pull out in this particular instance.]
So this is, I kid you not, Seismitoad the Wet Sprocket.
[He winks at Steven as he puts the album on. Oh but it's nice to have a good looking guy draped over his couch. And he is good looking, Jack's not even lowering his standards in a time of drought. He's got that whole sexy nerd thing going on, Jack digs it.]
[And then he finally joins Steven on the couch.]
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But yeah. Yeah, that's how you do it. That's how my Abuelita always made it. Maybe I can make it for you sometime? I'm not much of a cook, but I can handle hot chocolate.
[He'll just, lean in closer a little when Jack makes it over to the couch.]
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[Jack's body language is all at ease. He's got one arm stretched over the back of the couch, angled towards Steven. That comment about being back in high school rings true for him - it's weird, he kind of feels like he's a teenager again on one of those not-really-a-dates.]
[He shouldn't be surprised, it's been a while since he was in anything like this kind of position.]
Ya know this might sound corny, but I'm having a really good time tonight.
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[He's got a little smile on his face as he gazes back at Jack. This is-- well, it's a lot less businesslike than most of his hookups have been since the disaster with Liam. Despite them being colleagues and Jack technically being his superior and also the whole thing where he owes him some favors for getting him a radio tower position.
It is almost stupidly like a date, despite the fact that it's explicitly not one, and Steven finds that somehow he doesn't mind that. There's still every potential that this will end badly, with accusations of being cold and ruthless, an over-ambitious closet case--
But somehow, he doesn't think it will? Jack's a businessman. He's going to get ambition, if nothing else. And they aren't dating, even if this feels like a date. They're two friends. Who're going to be fucking. Nothing more than that.]
Yeah. I'm having a good time too. Usually when I hook up with someone, we just get to business. But this, this is nice.
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[And Jack's not embarrassed to admit it. They're people, people need connections with other people. It's natural and normal. After so many failed attempts at forging some kind of actual friendship with somebody else...]
[It's a major need that's being met. It's good. He wasn't expecting this and it's good. And sex is always better when two people actually like each other and are on similar vibes.]
But I've also gotta say...you are very good looking. I was not expecting that when I asked you to vid chat.
[They are here for a reason, after all.]
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It's-- kind of weird, actually. Looking like this again after everything. For real, not just to normal people who can't see through illusions. I mean, it's great, I missed it so much but--
[He shakes his head.]
You're not bad yourself, you know. I like your body.
[He doesn't know what Jack's real face looks like. But the body, he likes.]
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[He has to, considering his lifestyle. Jack likes his vices and they take a toll. Sure, he's soft around the middle and he's got some love handles starting, but he's got great arms and a good chest and a fit little ass. Considering he's in his mid-fifties, he's doing good.]
But yeah, you've got that TV kinda face. The hot nerd thing, I like it.
[And he gets what Steven mean about liking to look like yourself. It's the whole point of Jack's mask, so he can keep his original and undamaged face. He really is gonna have to ask about whatever weird fairy shit this dude went through.]
[But later. For now he leans in a little bit more, grinning, missmatched eyes holding Steven's.]
And you have got a very enticing mouth.
let me know if you want to fade to black or go on!
[He'll just... slide off the couch and onto the floor, so he can kneel in front of Jack, reaching to undo his pants.
(GOD HE HAS MISSED THIS. He absolutely loves to suck cock and it's practically fucking impossible when your mouth is full of fucking razors. Like, maybe he could suck off a few kinds of Elementals still, depending what their flesh had turned to, he doesn't know, but most guys? No. Not going to to happen.)]
I AM GOOD GOING ON! SMUT WARNING HERE ON OUT
I am seriously impressed with your enthusiasm, Steven, but uh...you might wanna work up to that.
[Just a suggestion. When he became richer than god, Jack had paid the same surgical team who'd transformed Tim to work their magic on little Jack. Which wasn't quite so little anymore, and showed no signs of artificial enhancement. And he's already half hard from the fact a hot guy is kneeling down in front of him.]
[He's silently grateful that the only sex he's had in years were on those weird fuzzy weekends. Really helps fight the natural effects of age on the dick.]
OKAY I WILL TRY MY BEST AT WRITING THE PR0N
Mm. I suppose you might have a point. We haven't even kissed, have we?
[Not that he always does with his hook-ups, but this one feels different.
He lets go of Jack's pants and then braces himself against the couch, hands on either side of Jack, so that he can push himself half to his feet and lean over Jack in order to kiss him. It's-- interesting kissing a mask. Not entirely like he expected.]
NO WORRIES!
[It's not a requirement, but Jack never got the whole 'kissing is too intimate for outside of relationships' thing some people latched onto. If your junk was gonna be inside someone else, a tongue in their mouth is nothing.]
[He leans right back into it, open mouthed and eager. He's lost whatever initial weirdness he ever had about making out masked - it's high quality synth skin, his own body heat comes through it, it's an extremely reasonable imitation of skin. But still an imitation, not exactly right. And of course, there's the metal latches at Jack's chin and temples and along the edge of the mask where his sideburns would be.]
[He pulls away just enough to talk without being too mumbled.]
Mmm. But mostly...I'm thinking you don't wanna jump right into trying to go down on the full uncut eight inches I'm packing.
Re: NO WORRIES!
Eight inches? Really? Jesus, Jack.
[He's impressed, despite himself.]
I am, by the way. Cut. It's an American thing?
[Just going to maybe stay leaning over him like this. He never gets to loom over people in his normal life. They find it threatening and he doesn't want people to feel threatened around him, because
whitepeople that feel threatened are liable to lash out and he doesn't need that trouble in his life.But. Sex is different. There are guys, more than enough of them, that like him using his size and build to his advantage. Who like being loomed at or pinned to the wall or the couch. He'd developed a second sense for finding them in bars and clubs. It was even easier on Grindr.]
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I always drank my Ovaltine.
[He can make pre-expansion media references with Steven! And he's got a lot.]
And yeah, it's not like that's something no one does anymore, I just was born on a planet that didn't exactly have...anything. 'Medical care' was basically a lot of positive thinking and back alley drugs at insane prices.
[And besides that, he was entirely unwanted and honestly lucky his grandmother had even bothered to feed him.]
I've been with plenty of cut dudes before, I'm not gonna get weird about it.
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[It does but there's obviously worse out there.]
I've been with uncut guys before too. Not as many, because most American hospitals cut guys as a matter of course, but.
[He gives a little hunch of shoulder, sort of a shrug, before leaning in to steal another kiss from Jack.]
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[They wouldn't be here otherwise!]
[And considering this is their first time smashing, Jack's not gonna bring up any kink talk. Just some good old fashioned rogering, which he is desperately in need of. If this becomes a regular thing - which he's pretty sure it will, they get along, they find each other attractive, it'd be weird if the sex was bad - then they can talk fancy stuff.]
[Jack's hands run along Steven's arms, not content to be passive despite perfectly willing to play the submissive.]
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Yeah. I mean, the drive's a little-- it's not what it was before my life went to fairy hell. But that doesn't mean that it's gone.
[And honestly, if Jack's in his mid-fifties, it's probably just as well his libido is not what it was. He's not going to say that out loud, but. He'll think it a little.
And maybe punctuate that statement with a long, drawn-out kiss. To prove how very much the drive is still there.]
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[Jack would agree, were he aware of Steven's thoughts. He's got pills - apparently E.D. hasn't been eradicated in Pokeworld - but it's not like he's always got them on him or has the time to take one when the need arises.]
[Luckily that's not an issue right now, he's perfectly ready to go. And getting more ready by the minute - Steven knows what he's doing in the make-out department. It's nice. Jack's hands keep going, until he reaches the other man's shoulders and sort of pulls him down into the kiss.]
Ya know...you're starting to look pretty overdressed....
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OKAY THIS IS WHERE THE DIRTY STUFF *REALLY* STARTS
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