thedifferencebetween

"I dunno. I woulda said just Maya, Krieg, and Tim but I dunno who the hell they've been talking to about me or what they're saying." Jack shrugs again. He honestly doesn't know who has it out for him these days.

And it's stupid, because what is he even doing these days? Nothing awful! He's been making efforts. Why the hell can't they make any? And they still insist he's the bad guy here.

"Assholes. Sorry your game's ruined, I...I really didn't expect that to go down like that."

His tone is off hand and a bit dismissive, but the fact that he made some sort of an apology at all is more than Jack usually bothers with.

And it wasn't even his fault!

Steven moves to kiss his brow. "Yeah," he says, softly. "They are. And-- it's not completely ruined. I don't think Allura is going to quit on us. Three's enough for a party, even if it's on the small side. Maybe some of her friends... I mean, I barely know Maya, anyway. Armin's a gaming friend--we've been playing long-distance chess--but if he drops me over you, then he wasn't worth being friends with."

He pets Jack's hair. "At least you're willing to put old shit aside, bebe," he murmurs. "That-- it matters to me, you know? That you're trying. Even if they're not."

"And I don't even know her, so..." Not that that always matters, Jack has learned.

"And I am! I leave them the hell alone! Okay, so I sent a couple glitter bombs, but come on! That's kiddie shit, that's nothing! I mind my own business, I'm perfectly polite when we end up dealing with each other, and I sure as shit don't go hounding all their friends to tell them what fuckheads they are! And I don't even do it for them, I do it cuz my daughter asked me to, and she's a hell of a lot more important to me than grudges from back home!"

That he can't even follow through on anyway. He leans back against the couch, tipping his head up and sighing heavily.

"It's hard being me, babe. C'mere, I wanna cuddle."

Steven eases himself down onto the couch, leaning against Jack so he can sling an arm around his boyfriend, resting his head on Jack's shoulder.

"I'm glad you're trying for Angel," he says, softly. "I really am. She's a good kid. I mean, she thinks I'm too nice for you, but-- Well. It's not like she's had the opportunity to meet me when I'm not being nice."

"No, she's right. I don't mean you're too nice for me, I just don't have a track record of dating nice people. You aren't my type, I don't usually go in on people like you. You're...all full of feelings and shit. But whatever, I'm not bound by a type. I'm really into you. There's a future here. And maybe it's good for me to have a nice guy. You're still a ruthless friggin predator."

Jack leans casually and comfortably into Steven, resting his own head against the other man's. Though now his mind is on something else entirely, because...why is Angel commenting on a relationship Jack never even told her about?

The obvious answer is Steven brought it up.

"Speaking of...I dunno how much you and her talk, but...it's kinda weird when I haven't even introduced you two yet. I hadn't even told her about you, I just mentioned I was seeing somebody. We...I'm not gonna get into it, cuz it's family stuff, but we've got a rocky relationship that I'm working hard on repairing. And I know you're real friendly and you probably wanna make my kid feel comfortable with her dad's boyfriend, but...there's a lot there, Angel had a tough life, just be cool. And let me tell her shit about my life."

"I mean, we haven't talked much. The second time mostly happened because she'd been surprised I knew what Bunkers & Badasses was," Steven says, softly. "And I told her, privately, that you'd told me. Uh. Only I said 'your father' instead of Jack and she said she was surprised you'd mentioned her and I said I'd asked about her picture and that I didn't know much, but you'd told me she was the 'best fucking kid.' And then I... kind of apologized for not letting her know I knew that about her when I first talked to her over the 'gear, because that seemed like what a good person would probably do, and in the process I-- kind of admitted we were dating. Which was when she said I was too nice. But, uh, I didn't say much more. Just-- said I wasn't, really, too nice for you. Because you are capable of being kind. You're kind to me. And that I hoped that she and I could be friends or at least not enemies."

He's quiet for a moment. "I hope that wasn't too much? I just-- I don't know. I've never dated a guy with a kid before, even an estranged one. I've barely dated, you know that. Just... a little bit in college, my ex-, and a lot of hooking up around that."

He squeezes Jack's shoulders. "Can I ask what your exes were like? I know I babbled about mine that one time, after I strangled you, but I've just realized I barely know anything about yours. I mean, you know, only if you're comfortable."

Edited (typo) 2020-03-21 04:14 (UTC)

Jack groans.

"Okay, first of all, yeah, that's a conversation I should be having with my daughter. You admitted it yourself, you know next to nothing about her or her and my relationship. I will let you into this part of my life when I am ready. I think it'd be pretty clear by now that a lot of my shit is very private shit. Especially when it comes to my family. Just...learn how to pull in your friggin reins, Steven."

He charges into things. And there's plenty of times that's great, it's the right call. Not when it comes to Jack's business. That's his, he controls how much is shared and exposed and when someone gets to come a little further inside Jack's circle of trust.

"Secondly, I don't have exes, I have dead spouses and significant others and...no, wait, amendment to that statement, I have one 'ex'. Moxxi, I've already told you about her. She was a backstabbing psychopath who wore clown makeup all the time and had huge tits, nothing more to tell. Here's the thing, babe. If you don't know about something, there's a reason I haven't told you. I get you are, but I'm not super big on the deep personal sharing this early in a relationship. And on top of that...like I said, pretty much everyone I cared about at any point in my life is dead, so it hurts and upsets me to talk about them."

This? This is why Steven doesn't date. Well, no, he didn't date for a whole lot of reasons, of which only one is that he's terrible at being in relationships... but it's pretty obvious that he is utterly horrible at it.

"I'm not either," he says, numbly. "I've— never shared so much shit with anyone I've been with. God— I'm even doing it with you. Everything I've been doing— Fuck. I don't. I don't know how to do this, Jack. I don't know how to... be honest with people about myself and not end up treating them like— like the only person I was ever honest with before. And I told her everything. Almost everything. I don't know how— I don't know how to shut up when I'm not faking things."

"I mean share away at me, babe, I'm not telling you not to. I might veg out sometimes in the middle of long stories, but I only have so much of an attention span, that's nothing personal. Part of having a genius brain." And sometimes stories got very long. Not just Steven's, people in general. Jack can only focus on other people's problems and lives for so long.

"See, this is how it goes. This is why I'm sitting here explaining myself and clearly establishing boundaries. Communication is the key to any good relationship. We're communicating. You've got to calm down about all this. I know you worry, but trust me, I'm too invested in this to drop you over bullshit we can work out."

"Thank god," Steven breathes, closing his eyes. "Right. So. Just-- wait until you're ready to tell me about things and people. Don't push. And-- let you handle Angel from now on. That's-- that's fine. I can do that."

It... does feel nice to know that Jack is invested. Not that... not that Steven didn't sort of know he was, but it's good to have it acknowledged. And maybe it's just that the sex is really good. Maybe it's just that Jack enjoys having someone around who's already figured out most of the right ways to flatter him. Maybe's just...

Honestly, it's probably because Jack was lonely before him. He'd known that since the night they went to bed.

"I don't-- I don't think there's any I want to set in exchange right now," Steven says quietly. "But I'll let you know."

"There we go. See, communication. You can't have a relationship without communication. But I think in general, ya know, overall...you really gotta relax, babe."

He gets worked up over things he really doesn't have to. And sure, Jack sort of gets why, but really...he's not Steven's ex. Nobody's keeping any secrets - while there's plenty Jack hasn't shared yet, it's not out of any desire to keep anything secret. But sharing anything tends to bring questions and conversations and he just doesn't like having those.

"Oughtta get a stress ball or something."

That gets a tired sort of half-laugh from Steven. "I'd rather have a stress neck," he says, "if we're being honest. Where I wouldn't have to worry about stopping." He rubs his cheek against Jack's shoulder. "If we were in your future, you'd get me someone, wouldn't you? It wouldn't matter who. Not really. I don't think I'm that discriminate of a predator anymore."

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