Handsome Jack here! I'm way too busy being awesome to answer the phone, but tell me why you're calling and if you're important enough, your people will hear from my people.
Good thing Athena's used to not getting what she wants, then.
Don't worry about it, she can't do THAT much to you. But thanks for the heads up, I appreciate it. I'm really not surprised. I know she's already gotten to one of my people.
[He's still in the clear. And, god, for a moment Tim honestly considers going against what he told Athena. He really does consider just giving up, just heading to Goldenrod, just playing it safe and keeping his head down. Just doing whatever Jack tells him.
Maybe it would be easier.
...Not like his life is ever easy nowadays.]
I can imagine. But uh.
I don't know, I get the feeling she's only gonna become more of a problem. If she's gathering people, I mean. Since there's more people from Pandora popping up here and all. Some of whom are seeming pretty dangerous.
So I had this crazy thought? Maybe it might be useful if someone could keep an eye on her?
[Goddammit, he had a feeling that's what the answer would be. Now he just... has to figure out how much he can push this?]
Right. Yeah.
I just figured since she trusts me a lot, that'd be useful. I mean, Athena doesn't really trust most people. Plus, I already know her kinda well so that helps too.
Not trying to argue or anything! It's just that I'm not sure how well she'll take it if I go to you?
Probably not well. But she's not gonna take it out on YOU. And she can't get to me. I'm not without my resources here. By any means. Trust me, I'm well protected.
If you're really worried, I can send you a friggin bodyguard.
It's more that I'm worried it'll fuck up the trust I've got here and then we can't use that for anything. Seems like a waste of something that could be really useful.
...Wait, you got bodyguards available? Seriously?
[Geez, how many people does Jack have working for him already?]
I'm guessing you don't really know Rhys yet, do you? Count yourself lucky.
Yeah. He stuck Nakayama's stupid AI program in his head and went nuts on Helios, I guess? I dunno, he wasn't making much sense when he was trying to explain. But long confusing story short, he killed the main power and now our friggin home's gone.
He also stole my shirt, so I'm...really not thrilled with him right now.
Do yourself a favor, don't bother. Guy's a walking pain in the ass under a gorgeous head of hair. I mean, he's got balls, I'll give him that. When he can find'em. But jeezus....
Exactly.
Yeah, I let him wear it home and haven't seen it since. Starting to regret my generosity.
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I mean I could lie to you if you want, but I kinda doubt you do. I mean, we did have a chat, but...
How much of a problem is she? Cause I'm guessing she's pretty high on the list, right?
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Stay away from Athena.
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Right. So. Here's the thing.
[Should he just... go right out and... Yeah. Yeah, okay, let's just get it out there.]
She wants me to stick with her.
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Don't worry about it, she can't do THAT much to you. But thanks for the heads up, I appreciate it. I'm really not surprised. I know she's already gotten to one of my people.
She's really starting to piss me off.
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Maybe it would be easier.
...Not like his life is ever easy nowadays.]
I can imagine. But uh.
I don't know, I get the feeling she's only gonna become more of a problem. If she's gathering people, I mean. Since there's more people from Pandora popping up here and all. Some of whom are seeming pretty dangerous.
So I had this crazy thought? Maybe it might be useful if someone could keep an eye on her?
You know. From close by.
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I've got eyes all over, don't worry. Don't end things badly, though. Could be useful in the future, if she thinks she's got a hook in you.
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Right. Yeah.
I just figured since she trusts me a lot, that'd be useful. I mean, Athena doesn't really trust most people. Plus, I already know her kinda well so that helps too.
Not trying to argue or anything! It's just that I'm not sure how well she'll take it if I go to you?
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If you're really worried, I can send you a friggin bodyguard.
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...Wait, you got bodyguards available? Seriously?
[Geez, how many people does Jack have working for him already?]
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I got some guys.
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I mean, geez, you must work fast...
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You know I do. I have plans, #2, I'm not letting any vault hunters screw them up this time.
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Can't things ever go his way? Just once?]
Big plans. Yeah. Wouldn't expect anything else.
Athena actually talked about that a little. About vault hunters screwing up your plans, that is. She mentioned some... things.
[Is there a delicate way of broaching the whole death thing?]
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And if she tried to tell you I'm dead, that's bullshit. It was close, but it takes a lot more than that to get rid of ME.
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[Except the one with the biased perspective is Jack. Definitely Jack.]
She did tell me that, yeah. I mean, something like that's a little hard to believe anyway, but... What, she was just lying then?
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She WISHES she'd killed me. But I know she got to Athena.
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"I killed Handsome Jack" doesn't seem like an easy sell.
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And then some idiot crashed Helios, I guess, so that's gotta help.
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What?
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Yeah. He stuck Nakayama's stupid AI program in his head and went nuts on Helios, I guess? I dunno, he wasn't making much sense when he was trying to explain. But long confusing story short, he killed the main power and now our friggin home's gone.
He also stole my shirt, so I'm...really not thrilled with him right now.
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[Athena's informed him about a lot of this already. But that's not really important.
...Also what the hell, Jack, what's up with your priorities.]
Well. Fuck.
...Your shirt. Seriously?
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Exactly.
Yeah, I let him wear it home and haven't seen it since. Starting to regret my generosity.
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[Jack are you sure you actually hate this guy?]
...Should I even ask what he was doing at your place?
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Sleeping over, obviously. Ran into him after you at the festival.
[And he'd been dead drunk and barely able to stand, but let #2 take that however he wants. Maybe it'll cause Rhys some extra grief.]
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Yikes.]
Right... obviously. Sure, I getcha.
...Gonna be honest, kinda surprised you didn't just kill him. Because of Helios and all.
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