IC Inbox

[thedifferencebetween]

Handsome Jack here! I'm way too busy being awesome to answer the phone, but tell me why you're calling and if you're important enough, your people will hear from my people.

Comments

[fingersandteeth]

Steven closes his eyes--he can still picture the sight of Solus falling, as immediate and visceral as if he'd pushed him seconds ago, not hours.

"No," he murmurs. "I won't. Not ever."

He opens his eyes again, looking back up at the man he adores beyond reason. How did he get so lucky to find someone who always understood these things?

He worries his lower lip a little and tries to see if he can articulate the thing that's in his head. "If strangling that guard for work was like you shooting the Merriff," he says after a long moment, "I kind of think... throwing him down the stairs was almost like you and your CEO. The first was... being startled into realizing how good this shit feels, but the second is just... I don't know. It's like something... it feels like something's more... solid now, maybe? I guess? Shit. I'm not articulating this very well. But you know what I mean, right?"

God, he hopes he does. He's always understood so far, after all.

"It's like I spent the last four--no, god, six--the last six months in this prolonged state of-- fuck, I don't know. A six month internal scream because sure, I was finally free again, but fuck if I knew who or what I was anymore. I'd-- I'd lost almost everything that had driven me before the fairy bullshit, but I didn't... I didn't know what to replace it with. God, I think I'm actually really grateful I got pulled into this world and press-ganged into the PokeMob and not just because it lead me to you. It's given me something to focus on. That helped a little during all those months when I was screaming inside."

He gives Jack a tired smile. "But now... I feel. God. So much steadier. So much better. Like I can finally be confident about something other than sex, you know? And all those sweet things you've been telling me about myself all this time, calling me a predator and saying I'd have killed so many people in your world by now-- they feel real now. You know? I finally feel like a real boy. I feel real and alive and-- and me."

He laughs then, because he can hardly believe what he's saying, but--

"Jack--I think I like me."