Handsome Jack - Hero of Pandora (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thedifferencebetween) wrote2018-06-07 12:35 pm
thedifferencebetween) wrote2018-06-07 12:35 pm
thedifferencebetween) wrote2018-06-07 12:35 pm
7/23
"Oh good. You're awake. Happy birthday, querido."
He leans over to brush his lips against Jack's, before pulling back. "There's my present and there's cake," he says, "which I had a little help with. Do you remember Hythlodaeus, my very tall friend who's working on improving the local drugs? He's the one who helped--we actually infused the cake with his newest concoction, a Gloom-based liquid hallucinogen." Steven looks very smug about this. "I figured you wouldn't mind. We've got all day together, after all. There's a another bottle of it downstairs too and that's Hythlo's present. But I want to show you mine first. Can I?"
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Jack yawns and blinks his one good eye blearily. That's a lot of words first thing in the morning. Good ones! He can register that. It sounds like an exciting day. Hell of a lot better than most of his birthdays here.
"But thanks, yeah. That all sounds great, it does, but the first thing I'm gonna need is coffee. My birthday doesn't change the fact that I'm a pissy bitch first thing in the morning until I load up on my start the day chemicals."
He hopes whatever Steven has for him, it doesn't require him getting out of bed. Not yet, anyway.
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"Right," he says, pressing a kiss to Jack's cheek. "I'll be back in a moment."
It's more a minute than a moment, but Steven re-emerges from downstairs with a steaming mug that reads WORLD'S HANDSOMEST BOSS. "Here you go, bebe," he says, handing it over. "I'll be back with your present. It's going to take two hands to carry it."
He ducks out the door again.
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Jack props himself up in bed, groggy and trying to arrange himself comfortably around the small army of dogs that inevitably jump into the bed.
Shit, another birthday. Where the hell does the time go? At least he's got some things to show for it this time. And hey, one more Vault Hunter gone, so that's pretty sweet.
He's mildly curious as to what the hell Steven has gotten him.
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It's a town.
Well, a medieval fantasy village, really, which suggests a lot about where Steven probably got all the little painted plastic buildings from--and in fact, these little plastic buildings have some very specific paint jobs. All of them are covered in little murals and frescoes depicting scenes of outright badassery, centering on one familiar face in particular.
"It's the town attached the the Handsome Sorcerer's stronghold," Steven explains, as if he really needed to. "I used to make things like these, before, as a hobby. Just-- elaborate dioramas made out of minis that I painted. I'd photograph them too. I'm pretty decent when it comes to taking still life kinds of pictures--just don't ask me to photograph anything alive. I got most of them from Dwebblen Forge before I painted them, except for these."
He taps the top of one of the many statues--painted bronze and gold and marble--of Jack in his Handsome Sorcerer guise.
"Those are from Fearow Forge. You can order customized minis from them. So I got a few poses, because it wouldn't do to have all the statues be the same. I tried not to do any repeats on anything, if I could?"
And there isn't really. Oh, there's certainly repeated elements in there--angels that look like Taylor Swift, a knight that kind of looks like Steven providing back-up or protection, a lovely princess who looks like Angel, and vicious, evil-looking Vault Hunters being triumphed over--but no mural or fresco is exactly the same as any of the others.
There's even a pub, with a sign showing a Jack's face on it--and also, for some reason, Pansear, Panpour, and Pansage. (Actually, that is easily enough explained by the words painted in an arch over the pub door: THE JACK AND APES.)
"I hope you like it," Steven adds. "I've been working on it for... well. Over a month, really."