Handsome Jack - Hero of Pandora (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thedifferencebetween) wrote2018-06-07 12:35 pm
thedifferencebetween) wrote2018-06-07 12:35 pm
thedifferencebetween) wrote2018-06-07 12:35 pm
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[But Jack rolls his eyes and hunches down behind a friggin rock with Felix, because he didn't live as long as he did by ignoring potential threats.]
Or are you just too embarrassed to admit you're all nightmare freaked out and need some calm-down makeouts? Got a real 'behind the bleachers in hell' feel going on here, I guess....
[Jack's defense mechanism of rambling is kicking in, because he's not stupid. If this is Felix's nightmare, Felix knows what could be happening. Another wave, some giant space monster, who the hell knew. Well, aside from Felix, obviously.]
But seriously, what are we hiding from? Should I have a gun? Can you think me up a gun or something?
pretends to know shit about halo and just picks a random battle
It's fucking makeout point up in here.
[It's the usual Felix sarcasm, but it sounds a little... hollow. Which is new.]
Can I think you up a-- I don't know? Christ. I mean, I have more than one fucking gun anyway, because I'm... I don't know. Supposed to. I don't know how the hell this works.
And for the record, we're hiding from--
[There's the unmistakable sound of a gunshot all of a sudden and a bullet ricochets off the rock. And Felix outright flinches.]
...that.
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[Especially since apparently the battle is not over and people are going to be shooting at them! Great. Just great. Of course it's a violent bloodbath in Felix's brain, and it couldn't be one where he's mowing down his enemies into a fine mush.]
[He actually seems pretty freaking scared. That's not a good sign, Felix isn't like him. Felix is an actual soldier who's pretty cool in the heat of battle.]
I friggin hate getting shot at. What is this?
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[Even as he says that, though, Felix does hand Jack a gun. Because he knows he's supposed to have an extra. UNSC regulation, always make sure you're properly armed, blah blah blah, all that crap.]
This is fucking bullshit, is what it is. I mean, this actually doesn't even make logical sense. Because [he leans over the rock for a moment] it's THE ALIENS THAT WIPED OUT THE SOLDIERS, ASSHOLE!
[Just yelling into the distance, even though he doesn't know where the shooter is. He ducks behind the rock again quickly, as another shot rings past.]
You'd think I could get some goddamn historical accuracy in my own fucking dream.
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[It's creepy. It's weird. It's like being inside Felix's head. Sure, his own isn't exactly a barrel of sunshine and rainbows, but he knows it's better than Felix's.]
Like dreams give a shit about accuracy. No, it's all kinds of crap from your brain wadded into one mind-ball. For all you know, a giant pink swamp worm is gonna jump out and start doing a strip-tease, dreams are weird.
[But probably something awful is gonna try and eat them after it runs out of bullets. That's just Jack's guess.]
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[Felix is a private person. He might be reckless, yes, but at the end of the day everything about him is still calculated. He decides exactly how much of him people get to see. And no one gets to go this deep.
No one.]
God, what I wouldn't give for this to be one of those kinda dreams. I could deal with surreal shit. This...
[He trails off. Because he's noticed that the shooting has stopped and it has been fairly regular since he's been hiding here. Cautiously, he leans out again.]
The fuck is he--
[And then suddenly another bullet his the rock.
...From the other side this time.]
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[What are they up against? Felix at least sort of seems to know what's supposed to be going on, at least.]
[And wow, this is an unfamiliar gun and Jack's not exactly a master with them anyway. He's used to shooting at stationary targets, people on their knees and tied up, stuff like that. This...this is not the kind of situation he excels in. He grapples with the gun before holding it semi-comfortably, visibly unnerved.]
Oh shit...Felix, I do not want to die in your stupid nightmare!
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[Perhaps not the most reassuring thing when Felix is visibly nervous himself. This is a rarity even in a combat situation. Felix tends to be cocky, self assured. Reckless.
But that's under different circumstances. That's when he's not being hunted by his biggest fear.
So he has to think about how to handle this. Because they're dealing with someone using long range weaponry. You can't just fire blindly at a sniper. Especially not one using a special camo unit. A sniper is hard to get to. An invisible sniper? That's just crazy.
The one reliable option here is... a less direct approach.]
Okay, let's... Let's just try something. I swear to god, there better be enough logic in this dreamscape bullshit for this... [Felix taps something on the side of his helmet. A last resort. Comms.] Hey, asshole, I know this is your frequency, so you'd better not just ignore me.
[...
Addressing someone who's currently shooting you as "asshole" is, perhaps, not the best start. But Felix says it with surprisingly little venom.]
C'mon, seriously. There's literally no point to this, so let's just be chill about this. You know, the way not-crazy people are? This isn't a mission and you're not under orders. You're not actually gonna shoot me, Sam.
[...Silence. But silence means no gunfire.]
...Well, so far so good, I guess.
[Felix nods over to a building a little ways over. A not so subtle hint to Jack to move.]
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[What the hell, Felix? Why does your brain have to be so messed up. This isn't cool. And Jack...kind of shifts closer. Because of course he needs a shield and what the hell is your murderously psychotic domestic partner for, if not to be a human shield in times of need?]
[Especially when the time of need is all his fault.]
Who's even shooting at us? Why do you know the people shooting at us? Did you piss them off? 'Cause I've been shot at by people I've pissed off, and they don't usually stop.