Handsome Jack - Hero of Pandora (
thedifferencebetween) wrote2017-10-03 09:42 am
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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, HANDSOME JACK. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 021.07.222.57 *** H.Jack69 has joined 021.07.222.57 <USERNAME> First sentence of message. <BANNED USER> SCREENED MESSAGE. UNSCREEN? Y/N -- sample for when you ban someone <USERNAME> First sentence of message. <USERNAME> First sentence of message. | ||||
<C_137>
WTF?
< H.Jack69 >
he really liked 'making inventions'. which is wut ur lawn is covered in.
the 'inventions' ur dumb version made.
i called them trash n stg dude i thought he was gunna friggin cry!
it wuz HILARIOUS
<C_137>
Over THAT?
How the fuck are these inventiond? He just broke all my stuff and duct taped them into weird piles.
What else did he do?
< H.Jack69 >
dude he wuz a friggin bug pretending 2 b a dude. wut u do probably looks like u takin random shit apart n making other random shit.
he touched me
a lot
<C_137>
I guess the trash piles kind of make sense when you put it that way, but where the fuck did he get THAT?
< H.Jack69 >
i think its just a bug thing. they all did it. lots of arm grabbing and sleeve tuggin. n got real excited about stuff. like little kids.
u made trash heaps, my lady bang buddy kept smearing stuff on me and hauling me around by the arm, tim filled the house with friggin animals...
n 1 dude who can turn into an animal...
they shit so much, rick. so, so much. shit everywhere.
<C_137>
LOL that's the best thing I've heard since I got back
What happened, did he adopt 15 cats or are we talking squirrels?
Or livestock? Was it livestock??
Is your house full of cattle now?? ROFL
< H.Jack69 >
so not much fun
yes
cats, squirrels, sum rabbits maybe, chickens, raccoons...
1 of the raccoons is kewl tho, we're keeping him. i'm not allowed to call him garbage fucker but i call him garbage fucker when tims not around. i taught him to smoke.
<C_137>
But seriously, how bad is it at your place right now? Scale of 1-10
I need somewhere to reassemble my space heaters. The bug me trashed ALL OF THEM and it's really fucking cold here
< H.Jack69 >
it's bad, rick. what part of 'shit everywhere' doesn't sound bad???
garage is ok tho
<C_137>
Trust me, it sounds bad, but at this point I'll take 'shit everywhere' over 'no heat or power'
And I want to see your literal shithole house LOL
< H.Jack69 >
we r trying 2 clean it up. and by 'we' i mean 'mostly tim'. his bug did this.
but u can use the garage, i got my lab in there
<C_137>
That's not a dealbreaker BTW, I just want to know
< H.Jack69 >
btw chickens hate clowns
no subject
[And some time later, Rick will teleport directly into Jack's living room, materializing inside a ring of bright orange flames that might startle the chickens. He's holding a sack full of tools and space heater parts, and he slowly breaks into a grin as the flames die down enough for him to get a good look at the room.]
Wow... You---[belch]---weren't kidding. This is bad.
no subject
Yeah, I told ya it was. Tim's got some guy coming over to magic it clean or some shit, I dunno.
[He doesn't care about the details, as long as it gets cleaned. And they really need new furniture now. He'll have to go shopping this weekend.]
Come on, let's go to the garage. I'm bringing my raccoon, though.
no subject
Ohhh yeah, great idea, Jack! Why keep all the animal shit in the living room when---when you can have it in the garage too? You're really on to something there. That's---whatever, bring your raccoon.
[It's not like it's his garage. In any case, he'll pick up his sack of parts and head on over to the garage.]
no subject
[He's also wearing a pair of sunglasses, because Jack shouldn't be allowed to be responsible for animals. The raccoon seems perfectly content to be scooped up by Jack, at least, wrapping his furry little arms around the simulacrum's neck and snuggling against his chest.]
If you need tools, they're in that cabinet on that wall and the drawers along the back wall.
[The garage lab is clean of animal excrement, but there are a few pieces of vintage and terrifying clown paraphernalia scattered against the walls.]
Don't poke around in the fridge.