thedifferencebetween

I was busy. I'm a busy guy.

[His face manages to fall even further. Handsome Jack sighs. He presses the tips of his fingers to his forehead and begins cursing internally. He eventually slaps his 'gear, causing it to spin and point in the direction of his own Meowth, currently sorting a small pile of shiny rocks.]

I have to see one of those every freaking day. You're supposed to be collecting cool Pokemon, Mafyuyu. Badass ones. Does that thing look badass to you?

Huh. Isn't it?

[It's a cat, and as such, it hates being held, giving Mafuyu a sharp scratch to the jawline before squirming out of her grasp and taking cover under the shade of what little tree hasn't been torn out of the ground.]

I didn't think you'd catch one already, you made me think you're above going out on the field and battling it out! [She really wanted to surprise him too... She'll find something else.] How strong is yours? We should battle! You know, when it grows up, Meowth can poof money right out of thin air!!

No. No it is not. Giant fire breathing lizards and sea monsters and ten foot tall rock creatures are badass. Brain damaged attempts at cats? Are not badass. Impress me, kiddo. Show me you got the stuff.

[Because she's his only real employee here. He sort of needs her at the moment, while he's getting back on his feet. But she's got a lot to learn.]

[He's used to so much better. God, what he'd give to have her here. She'd have already found him exactly where the biggest and baddest Pokemon are, their weaknesses, their strengths, who would most likely be willing to go get one for him, personal suggestions on which best suit him....]

[Besides. He misses her. But she's gone, and he's here, and he has...a Mafuyu.]

I didn't catch it. And yes, I know it'll shit money once a day. Not much money, but enough that it's more lucrative to keep it than sell it.

[Being Jack sure is suffering.

It's not enough to dishearten her though, because she didn't catch her Meowth either. But she did catch a Pokemon in the week since she last reported in, and she thinks he'll like this one. Hopefully. Better than the cat. ]

Well, that's not all I have! Prepare to be amazed! How's... this?!

[And she releases possibly the most skittish Sentret in existence, who immediately takes refuge down the front of Mafuyu's shirt, stretching out the fabric over the bulge of her stomach.]

[Jack buries his face in his hands.]

[Okay, what else did he expect? His right hand man is a teenage girl. Okay, not exactly a huge change, really, but...]

[This one is not trained. And teenage girls like cute things. Of course she's going to catch a bunch of cute animals. He's got to focus on the positives. She did catch something. He half expected her to show up to Goldenrod empty handed.]

Well, you caught something. That's...good for you, kid. Does it do anything other than hide from its own existence?

Hey, it's hard catching stuff if everything runs away, okay?

[Sentret isn't the only one. It looks like most of the Pokemon on this route are still terrorized by that wild Donphan she's trying to hunt. Angry or scared, they're better off under her protection, she thinks. Pulling outward on the hem of her shirt, she dumps the Sentret onto the ground at her feet. There aren't any wild Pokemon around, but this is something she's proud of for her Sentret]

But hey, look, watch this! Otari, defense curl! [The Pokemon wraps itself up into a ball, nothing surprising here. But then Mafuyu beckons her Snubbull over.] Burun, fire fang!

[Sharp fangs clamp down on the ball of fur, flames rolling off Sentret's back to lick at the grass and the tips of Mafuyu's shoelaces as she quickly stomps the fire out. When Snubbull backs off, Sentret unrolls herself, relatively unscathed, if a little wide-eyed and shrinking away from the other Pokemon because weren't we teammates??]

See? See, she's strong, right?!

....way to bury the lead, kiddo. Look at that.

[Jack steeples his fingers, leaning back from the 'gear screen and nodding to himself. That? That had been interesting.]

Looks like you're earning yourself that dinner after all. Bring me shit that can do stuff like that.

Hell yeah! We impressed him, Otari!!

[She picks the Sentret up in her arms and tosses the Pokemon in the air in celebration. It shrieks.]

And we're only going to get tougher from here on out. This guy here, [She points to her Meowth, who's keeping amused by unraveling the threads on the front of her discarded jacket and swiping the buttons] is gonna be ten feet tall before you know it! With super strong muscles, and shooting laser beams from his eyes!

[Snubbull's teeth produces ice and fire. Nothing's too strange]

You piqued my interest, don't get too excited.

I don't think they get ten feet tall, cupcake. And laser beams from the eyes are just impractical. I mean, don't get me wrong, laser beams are awesome. I used to use'em. But not from the eyes. You can't see while blasting, it's just a disaster waiting to happen.

A funny one. But still. Waste of resources.

[Too late, too excited to stop]

You've used them before? Like laser tag, or arcade games? I heard Goldenrod has a game place! The stupid place has everything! We can play there!! I'm good at the cranes!!

No, like my usual weapon was a pair of wrist mounted laser guns. My company specializes in laser weaponry. And e-tech. Top of the line stuff.

That's nice. I'm good at shooting things.

[E-tech, laser what? She supposes a small one mounted on your wrist is good for like... playing around with cats, though. His Meowth might appreciate tech like that! But Mafuyu comes from the age of flip phones, her laser guns remain laser tag guns.]

We can play shooting games too! I can shoot the ones in the festivals, where you knock down cans! And I can throw ninja stars!!

[Impressive, right?! Say you're impressed!!]

That's cute. I can shoot giant monsters that eat hyperactive teenagers. But since apparently real guns don't exist on this planet...

[Which is just frustrating. How's he supposed to properly threaten his enemies if he doesn't even have a real gun? He's gonna have to start getting creative with his threats.]

Ninja stars, huh?

[She laughs. Funny guy, Jack, what a joke.]

You'd be able to take down the Donphan blocking the path if that were true! Stuff like ninja stars don't help much though. [She mimes throwing one. Which, because she isn't actually holding a star, just looks like she's just swinging her arm back and forth in midair.] Ninja taught me how to use 'em. Things like walking on water and smoke signals too.

Of course I could.

Oh yeah? Anything else?

[Jack feigns casual disinterest, but that...that's worth knowing. Kid's got some potential.]

Nn... Those blanket things that let you camo with a wall? Traps and disguises, how to erase your presence. He could fly too, but I don't think his method...

[That potential he thinks she has? She's not going to tarnish it bringing up Ninja's methods.]

I don't really want to talk about it.

Really?

[So she's had some training. She can be taught. Good to know.]

Babe, don't worry about it. I'm a multi-trillionaire CEO, you think I'm bothered by shady methods?

[No, Mr. Handsome 'I Only Shot That One Little Kid' Jack has nothing against dirty dealings. Which he assumes she's skirting around.]

It's not shady as much as...

[No. Don't mention any more, pretend this conversation never happened. It's too embarrassing.]

But anyways, it doesn't help here! Ninja's better at gathering info and stuff, but for me, it's easier to charge in and beat up things directly than surprise them. You gotta challenge someone in a fair fight!

As really stupid? Gotcha.

Beating the shit out of someone to get what you need is a perfectly valid way of gathering information. Or whatever else you need.

[Mafuyu covers her face. So she's either shady or stupid, and she can't really deny either... But he doesn't seem like someone who'd be scared of her, and his opinion of her can't possibly get any worse, so she drops her hands, regarding him closely.]

Most people don't think so. But you don't seem bothered by fighting. You're also like that? Gang wars at school? I mean, you're an old guy now, but.

Wow. Wow, did you just call me old? I'm in the prime of my life, cupcake! Old enough to have experience and wisdom, young enough that I'm fit and gorgeous. The perfect combo.

No, the cutthroat world of company politics. And the savage barbaric wasteland of Pandora. You don't exactly wipe out cannibal bandit clans by asking them nicely to go away.

Then you're... twenty-something? I can't tell.

[Anybody past twnety is old. She only knows one guy over twenty before they fall dangerously close to adult territory with their rules and morals and laws. Even if they both fight, politics and cannibals seem worlds apart from how she lives. She can't know him better like this.]

Is this that story you promised me? I need smaller words. I don't completely understand what you're saying.

.....You don't spend much time around grown ups, do you?

[Jack regards her for a minute then nods. He stretches out in the lounge chair he's been sitting in and pulls out a thin cigar.]

Alright. Story time.

Once upon a time, there was a lawless and terrible planet called Pandora. The people that lived on Pandora were horrible barbarians. Just the worst, really. No morals. No culture. They ate their own children and rolled in their own waste like pigs. But this planet had something way more. It had an awesome power buried underneath its surface.

You with me so far? Words small enough for you? I wanna make sure you get all this.

[She's a former high school delinquent; her time was spent avoiding grown ups.]

Yeah. Pandora sounds terrible. Also, smoking turns your lungs black.

It is terrible. But I'm gonna make it better. And my lungs are my business.

So anyway, on Pandora, there was a thing called a vault. And inside was a giant, horrible, alien monster. Just...teeth and tentacles and death. But I fought it and I killed it and I realized that this shit-hole of a frontier planet could actually be something. So I took it under my protection. Started to wipe out the bandits, mine the eridium - that's a very, very precious mineral that made me a trillionaire - and build real cities. Pristine, gorgeous glass cities, safe from bandits and monsters and famine and poverty. I'm talking paradises. And I was gonna do so much more. I had a plan.

But some assholes decided I was a tyrant and that they wanted to live in miserable squalor instead of the benevolent rule of Hyperion.

They wanted to stop me.

IC Inbox

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video

Video