Handsome Jack here! I'm way too busy being awesome to answer the phone, but tell me why you're calling and if you're important enough, your people will hear from my people.
Oh god, I'm not sure where to start. I mean, I like a lot of things. Hell, I even like showtunes, much as I hate to play into the stereotype, but I did a lot of theatre in high school and college, so.
[He shrugs and laughs, a bit ruefully.]
I mean, when I was a teenager, my favorite band was the Smashing Pumpkins? They had this sort of, I don't know, orchestral quality, almost? 'Tonight, Tonight,' god, that's still one of my favorites. And 'Disarm.' That's another good one. '1979.' Right now, I think my favorite artist is Patrick Wolf, probably? Andrew Bird's pretty good too.
But man, Patrick Wolf. There's this one song of his, 'Overture,' I just-- I love it. I love it so much, it's probably my favorite song these days, it's so good.
It's wonderful what a smile can hide If the teeth shine right and it's nice and wide It's so magical what you can keep inside And if you bury it deep no one can find a thing, no.
[Then he shakes his head.]
Except I don't really have the right voice for it. I'm a tenor, he's a baritone, god his voice is good, I swear, it goes straight to my b--
[He cuts himself off, but given how his cheeks have darkened a bit, Jack can probably guess what the word was meant to be.]
Oh yeah, I know the Smashing Pumpkins! Little bit on the drearier side for me, overall, but talented group.
[Now Jack did not expect an impromptu serenade when he brought up music, but he is not complaining. He's also practically tone deaf, so he can't tell if Steven's voice is in the right key for the song or anything like that. He's just enjoying this little surprise.]
Ha! Nice. No, no I get what ya mean, there's a couple that do it for me, too. Like Billy Idol. Holy shit did that dude have a voice! I mean...that is a voice I could fuck. And of course the goddess herself, Taylor Swift. There never was and never will be a greater musical genius or more beautiful voice in any world ever.
I mean, who doesn't love Billy Idol? God, just-- 'White Wedding'. I was still pretty much a baby when he was really big, but man, he was just-- God. I'm pretty sure my crush on James Marsters was entirely because he channeled Billy Idol his entire first season on Buffy.
Taylor Swift, though? "Teardrops on my guitar" Taylor Swift? Man, she must have gotten a lot better when I was stuck in El Pecador's basement. I mean, it was years, she probably could have.
[The poor Furfrou has been looking from one to the other, as they keep saying her name.]
Like...'Look What You Made Me Do', like 'Bad Blood', like 'Shake it Off', like 'Blank Space'. Shit I wish I had my Hpod with me, I got her entire collection. Songs, movies, commercials, tv spots...if she did it, I got it.
[He does note what Steven said, but he just tucks it away to possibly consider later. He's not that invested in the other guy at the moment, but...look, he likes the guy and he's out of friends. He needs a new one!]
She was incredible and it's a fucking sin you missed out on the height of her career.
Yeah, no, she hadn't recorded any of those before I got stuck on the other side of the Hedge and then when I was finally back, I was too busy trying to survive to pay too much attention to the music I missed.
But no, I believe you, it's not like there haven't been a bunch of other teenager musicians who got way better when they got older. I mean, Alanis.
Hey, maybe if we get lucky, one of the transplants later will come with an MP3 player with her on.
Mmm. In the very near future I'm gonna ask you about that, cuz I've played enough B'n'B and read enough fantasy comics to know I might actually be interested in your whole story, but for now...
[Jack knocks back his last shot and pulls out his wallet.]
How about we move this chat back to my place? I may not have any music from back home - nobody does, it sucks - but I got some local shit that's not bad. And it's actual vinyls, so that's pretty cool.
[Plus they're going back to Jack's place eventually anyway, this has already been established. But they're having fun, and it'd be nice to be able to start transitioning into the other half of the evening. Chatting and making out are always a nice combo to ease into banging somebody new.]
Oh I've got my own mansion. Because I'm rich. Which is also why I don't give a shit that you can only cover one round. I could probably buy this literal bar.
[Jack's been here a while, and he knows how to make money. And steal money. And keep a small army of Pokemon trained to steal money. He hasn't been sitting on his ass or anything.]
And don't worry about it, I got plenty of bullshit of my own.
[It's an important point, as far as Jack's concerned. He's proud of the wealth he's amassed in his time here.]
[And his place is within easy walking distance of the bar, even on a cold night. He didn't bother with one of his Rapidash tonight, not wanting the extra hassle of tacking up.]
[His mansion is on the smaller side, for a mansion, but ulta-modern in design, all squares and clean lines and sleek polished stone. It's obviously the house of someone with money.]
This is just my Goldenrod place, I got another one in Blackthorn. Ski chalet. I don't ski much, but watching the newbies learn and fall down all the time? Hilarious!
[It's weird. Steven ought to find Jack's little obsession with how rich and successful he is to be obnoxious, but somehow it's... weirdly cute on him? God. He doesn't even know anymore.
The mansion itself is nice, honestly. It's a quality rich person's house, not a rip-off McMansion in the suburbs. He approves.]
Honestly, I don't either. I mean, I've been to Tahoe. I learned. But it's just-- not my thing. But hey, if this works out, maybe I can see your other place eventually.
Yeah, I know how, I've done it a couple times here, but it's cold and it's not that exciting and I'd rather be comfy by the fire with a spiked cocoa.
[When Jack steps inside through the entryway into the living room, Pokemon scatter. There's a fair number of various canine Pokemon, and a difficult to count number of Meowth. And one...massive blob of fur and horns that looks like an over-sized, melted Houndoom. It's fat rolls are practically swallowing the external bones that decorate its body. It lifts its head and gives a very wet howl of greeting, but doesn't move.]
So welcome to my place, make yourself comfortable.
[The furniture is much the same as the house, sleek and ultra modern - lots of black leather and polished glass.]
I'll get the fireplace going in a minute. Not for atmosphere, just because it's so friggin cold. But the atmosphere doesn't hurt!
God, me too. Mexican or Anglo hot chocolate? Because if you haven't had proper hot chocolate, you really should.
[Wow that's a lot of Pokemon. God, Jack really is every eccentric rich person's stereotype, isn't he?
He'll just. Get himself half-sprawled on a leather couch, turned inward so that when Jack gets back, they can sit and talk and look at each other. He's definitely getting used to the mask. He wonders if Jack will take it off for sex?]
But yeah, Jesus, I know, it's terrible out there. Nowhere needs to be this cold outside the mountains.
Truxican chocolate is the best friggin chocolate in the galaxy. Which is what we call Mexican for some reason now? I dated a Truxican actress for a little bit, she had this phenomenal chocolate imported from some planet...
[Jack's busying himself with the little things you do when you bring someone home as he talks. Shooing all the animals out - or physically hauling, in the case of Doom Boner the obese Houndoom - and getting his shoes and blazer off.]
I forget which, but god was it good! She made the real shit, melted down the chocolate and stirred in milk... That extra effort really pays off.
[Not that Jack often exerts that sort of effort himself, he pays other people to do it for him. He gets the fire going and pulls an album out off the shelf, already knowing exactly what to pull out in this particular instance.]
So this is, I kid you not, Seismitoad the Wet Sprocket.
[He winks at Steven as he puts the album on. Oh but it's nice to have a good looking guy draped over his couch. And he is good looking, Jack's not even lowering his standards in a time of drought. He's got that whole sexy nerd thing going on, Jack digs it.]
[That startles another laugh out of Steven]. My god, really? Jesus, it even sounds like them. I feel like I'm in high school again.
But yeah. Yeah, that's how you do it. That's how my Abuelita always made it. Maybe I can make it for you sometime? I'm not much of a cook, but I can handle hot chocolate.
[He'll just, lean in closer a little when Jack makes it over to the couch.]
I am not gonna say no to that. I am a pretty good cook but I just get it at cafes. I like to cook, though. Stick on some music, just kinda zone out and make a nice dinner...it's relaxing.
[Jack's body language is all at ease. He's got one arm stretched over the back of the couch, angled towards Steven. That comment about being back in high school rings true for him - it's weird, he kind of feels like he's a teenager again on one of those not-really-a-dates.]
[He shouldn't be surprised, it's been a while since he was in anything like this kind of position.]
Ya know this might sound corny, but I'm having a really good time tonight.
Mm. Well, I don't mind being cooked for. Not at all.
[He's got a little smile on his face as he gazes back at Jack. This is-- well, it's a lot less businesslike than most of his hookups have been since the disaster with Liam. Despite them being colleagues and Jack technically being his superior and also the whole thing where he owes him some favors for getting him a radio tower position.
It is almost stupidly like a date, despite the fact that it's explicitly not one, and Steven finds that somehow he doesn't mind that. There's still every potential that this will end badly, with accusations of being cold and ruthless, an over-ambitious closet case--
But somehow, he doesn't think it will? Jack's a businessman. He's going to get ambition, if nothing else. And they aren't dating, even if this feels like a date. They're two friends. Who're going to be fucking. Nothing more than that.]
Yeah. I'm having a good time too. Usually when I hook up with someone, we just get to business. But this, this is nice.
Exactly! Don't get me wrong, there's a time and a place for wham, bam, thank you man. But it's just nice to be able to hang out with somebody and get laid.
[And Jack's not embarrassed to admit it. They're people, people need connections with other people. It's natural and normal. After so many failed attempts at forging some kind of actual friendship with somebody else...]
[It's a major need that's being met. It's good. He wasn't expecting this and it's good. And sex is always better when two people actually like each other and are on similar vibes.]
But I've also gotta say...you are very good looking. I was not expecting that when I asked you to vid chat.
[Steven laughs, rubbing the back of his neck.] I mean, I used to read news on television. They want people who look good.
It's-- kind of weird, actually. Looking like this again after everything. For real, not just to normal people who can't see through illusions. I mean, it's great, I missed it so much but--
[He shakes his head.]
You're not bad yourself, you know. I like your body.
[He doesn't know what Jack's real face looks like. But the body, he likes.]
And you haven't even gotten the full view yet! I work out a lot.
[He has to, considering his lifestyle. Jack likes his vices and they take a toll. Sure, he's soft around the middle and he's got some love handles starting, but he's got great arms and a good chest and a fit little ass. Considering he's in his mid-fifties, he's doing good.]
But yeah, you've got that TV kinda face. The hot nerd thing, I like it.
[And he gets what Steven mean about liking to look like yourself. It's the whole point of Jack's mask, so he can keep his original and undamaged face. He really is gonna have to ask about whatever weird fairy shit this dude went through.]
[But later. For now he leans in a little bit more, grinning, missmatched eyes holding Steven's.]
And you have got a very enticing mouth.
let me know if you want to fade to black or go on!
[Steven licks his lips.] Right. I did say I was going to give you a blowjob, didn't I?
[He'll just... slide off the couch and onto the floor, so he can kneel in front of Jack, reaching to undo his pants.
(GOD HE HAS MISSED THIS. He absolutely loves to suck cock and it's practically fucking impossible when your mouth is full of fucking razors. Like, maybe he could suck off a few kinds of Elementals still, depending what their flesh had turned to, he doesn't know, but most guys? No. Not going to to happen.)]
[Wow and he is just going for it! Jack's not complaining, not in the least, he just figured there'd be some necking and heavy petting first.]
I am seriously impressed with your enthusiasm, Steven, but uh...you might wanna work up to that.
[Just a suggestion. When he became richer than god, Jack had paid the same surgical team who'd transformed Tim to work their magic on little Jack. Which wasn't quite so little anymore, and showed no signs of artificial enhancement. And he's already half hard from the fact a hot guy is kneeling down in front of him.]
[He's silently grateful that the only sex he's had in years were on those weird fuzzy weekends. Really helps fight the natural effects of age on the dick.]
[He looks up, an amused smile playing on his lips.]
Mm. I suppose you might have a point. We haven't even kissed, have we?
[Not that he always does with his hook-ups, but this one feels different.
He lets go of Jack's pants and then braces himself against the couch, hands on either side of Jack, so that he can push himself half to his feet and lean over Jack in order to kiss him. It's-- interesting kissing a mask. Not entirely like he expected.]
[It's not a requirement, but Jack never got the whole 'kissing is too intimate for outside of relationships' thing some people latched onto. If your junk was gonna be inside someone else, a tongue in their mouth is nothing.]
[He leans right back into it, open mouthed and eager. He's lost whatever initial weirdness he ever had about making out masked - it's high quality synth skin, his own body heat comes through it, it's an extremely reasonable imitation of skin. But still an imitation, not exactly right. And of course, there's the metal latches at Jack's chin and temples and along the edge of the mask where his sideburns would be.]
[He pulls away just enough to talk without being too mumbled.]
Mmm. But mostly...I'm thinking you don't wanna jump right into trying to go down on the full uncut eight inches I'm packing.
[Yeah, see, he expected it to feel a lot less like imitation skin and a lot more like... he's not even sure. Painted metal? Plastic?]
Eight inches? Really? Jesus, Jack.
[He's impressed, despite himself.]
I am, by the way. Cut. It's an American thing?
[Just going to maybe stay leaning over him like this. He never gets to loom over people in his normal life. They find it threatening and he doesn't want people to feel threatened around him, because white people that feel threatened are liable to lash out and he doesn't need that trouble in his life.
But. Sex is different. There are guys, more than enough of them, that like him using his size and build to his advantage. Who like being loomed at or pinned to the wall or the couch. He'd developed a second sense for finding them in bars and clubs. It was even easier on Grindr.]
no subject
[He shrugs and laughs, a bit ruefully.]
I mean, when I was a teenager, my favorite band was the Smashing Pumpkins? They had this sort of, I don't know, orchestral quality, almost? 'Tonight, Tonight,' god, that's still one of my favorites. And 'Disarm.' That's another good one. '1979.' Right now, I think my favorite artist is Patrick Wolf, probably? Andrew Bird's pretty good too.
But man, Patrick Wolf. There's this one song of his, 'Overture,' I just-- I love it. I love it so much, it's probably my favorite song these days, it's so good.
[He starts to sing under his breath:]
It's wonderful what a smile can hide
If the teeth shine right and it's nice and wide
It's so magical what you can keep inside
And if you bury it deep no one can find a thing, no.
[Then he shakes his head.]
Except I don't really have the right voice for it. I'm a tenor, he's a baritone, god his voice is good, I swear, it goes straight to my b--
[He cuts himself off, but given how his cheeks have darkened a bit, Jack can probably guess what the word was meant to be.]
no subject
[Now Jack did not expect an impromptu serenade when he brought up music, but he is not complaining. He's also practically tone deaf, so he can't tell if Steven's voice is in the right key for the song or anything like that. He's just enjoying this little surprise.]
Ha! Nice. No, no I get what ya mean, there's a couple that do it for me, too. Like Billy Idol. Holy shit did that dude have a voice! I mean...that is a voice I could fuck. And of course the goddess herself, Taylor Swift. There never was and never will be a greater musical genius or more beautiful voice in any world ever.
no subject
Taylor Swift, though? "Teardrops on my guitar" Taylor Swift? Man, she must have gotten a lot better when I was stuck in El Pecador's basement. I mean, it was years, she probably could have.
[She did, Steven. She really did.]
no subject
[The poor Furfrou has been looking from one to the other, as they keep saying her name.]
Like...'Look What You Made Me Do', like 'Bad Blood', like 'Shake it Off', like 'Blank Space'. Shit I wish I had my Hpod with me, I got her entire collection. Songs, movies, commercials, tv spots...if she did it, I got it.
[He does note what Steven said, but he just tucks it away to possibly consider later. He's not that invested in the other guy at the moment, but...look, he likes the guy and he's out of friends. He needs a new one!]
She was incredible and it's a fucking sin you missed out on the height of her career.
no subject
But no, I believe you, it's not like there haven't been a bunch of other teenager musicians who got way better when they got older. I mean, Alanis.
Hey, maybe if we get lucky, one of the transplants later will come with an MP3 player with her on.
no subject
[Jack knocks back his last shot and pulls out his wallet.]
How about we move this chat back to my place? I may not have any music from back home - nobody does, it sucks - but I got some local shit that's not bad. And it's actual vinyls, so that's pretty cool.
[Plus they're going back to Jack's place eventually anyway, this has already been established. But they're having fun, and it'd be nice to be able to start transitioning into the other half of the evening. Chatting and making out are always a nice combo to ease into banging somebody new.]
no subject
But yeah, no, let's go back to your place. You've got your own room.
[He'll extract a bill from his own wallet and pass it towards Jack.]
Here. Sorry I can't pay for an equal share yet, but this ought to cover one round?
And-- I'll tell you about it. But later. I've got to warn you, though, it's pretty bullshit from start to finish.
no subject
[Jack's been here a while, and he knows how to make money. And steal money. And keep a small army of Pokemon trained to steal money. He hasn't been sitting on his ass or anything.]
And don't worry about it, I got plenty of bullshit of my own.
no subject
But yeah. Let's go see this mansion of yours.
no subject
[It's an important point, as far as Jack's concerned. He's proud of the wealth he's amassed in his time here.]
[And his place is within easy walking distance of the bar, even on a cold night. He didn't bother with one of his Rapidash tonight, not wanting the extra hassle of tacking up.]
[His mansion is on the smaller side, for a mansion, but ulta-modern in design, all squares and clean lines and sleek polished stone. It's obviously the house of someone with money.]
This is just my Goldenrod place, I got another one in Blackthorn. Ski chalet. I don't ski much, but watching the newbies learn and fall down all the time? Hilarious!
no subject
The mansion itself is nice, honestly. It's a quality rich person's house, not a rip-off McMansion in the suburbs. He approves.]
Honestly, I don't either. I mean, I've been to Tahoe. I learned. But it's just-- not my thing. But hey, if this works out, maybe I can see your other place eventually.
no subject
[When Jack steps inside through the entryway into the living room, Pokemon scatter. There's a fair number of various canine Pokemon, and a difficult to count number of Meowth. And one...massive blob of fur and horns that looks like an over-sized, melted Houndoom. It's fat rolls are practically swallowing the external bones that decorate its body. It lifts its head and gives a very wet howl of greeting, but doesn't move.]
So welcome to my place, make yourself comfortable.
[The furniture is much the same as the house, sleek and ultra modern - lots of black leather and polished glass.]
I'll get the fireplace going in a minute. Not for atmosphere, just because it's so friggin cold. But the atmosphere doesn't hurt!
no subject
[Wow that's a lot of Pokemon. God, Jack really is every eccentric rich person's stereotype, isn't he?
He'll just. Get himself half-sprawled on a leather couch, turned inward so that when Jack gets back, they can sit and talk and look at each other. He's definitely getting used to the mask. He wonders if Jack will take it off for sex?]
But yeah, Jesus, I know, it's terrible out there. Nowhere needs to be this cold outside the mountains.
no subject
[Jack's busying himself with the little things you do when you bring someone home as he talks. Shooing all the animals out - or physically hauling, in the case of Doom Boner the obese Houndoom - and getting his shoes and blazer off.]
I forget which, but god was it good! She made the real shit, melted down the chocolate and stirred in milk... That extra effort really pays off.
[Not that Jack often exerts that sort of effort himself, he pays other people to do it for him. He gets the fire going and pulls an album out off the shelf, already knowing exactly what to pull out in this particular instance.]
So this is, I kid you not, Seismitoad the Wet Sprocket.
[He winks at Steven as he puts the album on. Oh but it's nice to have a good looking guy draped over his couch. And he is good looking, Jack's not even lowering his standards in a time of drought. He's got that whole sexy nerd thing going on, Jack digs it.]
[And then he finally joins Steven on the couch.]
no subject
But yeah. Yeah, that's how you do it. That's how my Abuelita always made it. Maybe I can make it for you sometime? I'm not much of a cook, but I can handle hot chocolate.
[He'll just, lean in closer a little when Jack makes it over to the couch.]
no subject
[Jack's body language is all at ease. He's got one arm stretched over the back of the couch, angled towards Steven. That comment about being back in high school rings true for him - it's weird, he kind of feels like he's a teenager again on one of those not-really-a-dates.]
[He shouldn't be surprised, it's been a while since he was in anything like this kind of position.]
Ya know this might sound corny, but I'm having a really good time tonight.
no subject
[He's got a little smile on his face as he gazes back at Jack. This is-- well, it's a lot less businesslike than most of his hookups have been since the disaster with Liam. Despite them being colleagues and Jack technically being his superior and also the whole thing where he owes him some favors for getting him a radio tower position.
It is almost stupidly like a date, despite the fact that it's explicitly not one, and Steven finds that somehow he doesn't mind that. There's still every potential that this will end badly, with accusations of being cold and ruthless, an over-ambitious closet case--
But somehow, he doesn't think it will? Jack's a businessman. He's going to get ambition, if nothing else. And they aren't dating, even if this feels like a date. They're two friends. Who're going to be fucking. Nothing more than that.]
Yeah. I'm having a good time too. Usually when I hook up with someone, we just get to business. But this, this is nice.
no subject
[And Jack's not embarrassed to admit it. They're people, people need connections with other people. It's natural and normal. After so many failed attempts at forging some kind of actual friendship with somebody else...]
[It's a major need that's being met. It's good. He wasn't expecting this and it's good. And sex is always better when two people actually like each other and are on similar vibes.]
But I've also gotta say...you are very good looking. I was not expecting that when I asked you to vid chat.
[They are here for a reason, after all.]
no subject
It's-- kind of weird, actually. Looking like this again after everything. For real, not just to normal people who can't see through illusions. I mean, it's great, I missed it so much but--
[He shakes his head.]
You're not bad yourself, you know. I like your body.
[He doesn't know what Jack's real face looks like. But the body, he likes.]
no subject
[He has to, considering his lifestyle. Jack likes his vices and they take a toll. Sure, he's soft around the middle and he's got some love handles starting, but he's got great arms and a good chest and a fit little ass. Considering he's in his mid-fifties, he's doing good.]
But yeah, you've got that TV kinda face. The hot nerd thing, I like it.
[And he gets what Steven mean about liking to look like yourself. It's the whole point of Jack's mask, so he can keep his original and undamaged face. He really is gonna have to ask about whatever weird fairy shit this dude went through.]
[But later. For now he leans in a little bit more, grinning, missmatched eyes holding Steven's.]
And you have got a very enticing mouth.
let me know if you want to fade to black or go on!
[He'll just... slide off the couch and onto the floor, so he can kneel in front of Jack, reaching to undo his pants.
(GOD HE HAS MISSED THIS. He absolutely loves to suck cock and it's practically fucking impossible when your mouth is full of fucking razors. Like, maybe he could suck off a few kinds of Elementals still, depending what their flesh had turned to, he doesn't know, but most guys? No. Not going to to happen.)]
I AM GOOD GOING ON! SMUT WARNING HERE ON OUT
I am seriously impressed with your enthusiasm, Steven, but uh...you might wanna work up to that.
[Just a suggestion. When he became richer than god, Jack had paid the same surgical team who'd transformed Tim to work their magic on little Jack. Which wasn't quite so little anymore, and showed no signs of artificial enhancement. And he's already half hard from the fact a hot guy is kneeling down in front of him.]
[He's silently grateful that the only sex he's had in years were on those weird fuzzy weekends. Really helps fight the natural effects of age on the dick.]
OKAY I WILL TRY MY BEST AT WRITING THE PR0N
Mm. I suppose you might have a point. We haven't even kissed, have we?
[Not that he always does with his hook-ups, but this one feels different.
He lets go of Jack's pants and then braces himself against the couch, hands on either side of Jack, so that he can push himself half to his feet and lean over Jack in order to kiss him. It's-- interesting kissing a mask. Not entirely like he expected.]
NO WORRIES!
[It's not a requirement, but Jack never got the whole 'kissing is too intimate for outside of relationships' thing some people latched onto. If your junk was gonna be inside someone else, a tongue in their mouth is nothing.]
[He leans right back into it, open mouthed and eager. He's lost whatever initial weirdness he ever had about making out masked - it's high quality synth skin, his own body heat comes through it, it's an extremely reasonable imitation of skin. But still an imitation, not exactly right. And of course, there's the metal latches at Jack's chin and temples and along the edge of the mask where his sideburns would be.]
[He pulls away just enough to talk without being too mumbled.]
Mmm. But mostly...I'm thinking you don't wanna jump right into trying to go down on the full uncut eight inches I'm packing.
Re: NO WORRIES!
Eight inches? Really? Jesus, Jack.
[He's impressed, despite himself.]
I am, by the way. Cut. It's an American thing?
[Just going to maybe stay leaning over him like this. He never gets to loom over people in his normal life. They find it threatening and he doesn't want people to feel threatened around him, because
whitepeople that feel threatened are liable to lash out and he doesn't need that trouble in his life.But. Sex is different. There are guys, more than enough of them, that like him using his size and build to his advantage. Who like being loomed at or pinned to the wall or the couch. He'd developed a second sense for finding them in bars and clubs. It was even easier on Grindr.]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
OKAY THIS IS WHERE THE DIRTY STUFF *REALLY* STARTS
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)