thedifferencebetween

You've got no idea! Pandora...it's a polluted wasteland full of lawless, baby-eating psychopaths. The only safe places are the Hyperion colonies and holy shit does it take a stupid amount of money and resources to protect'em! But I'm somehow the bad guy for wanting to just wipe out the baby-eating psychopaths! How the hell does that make any sense? I'm sorry, you start sleeping in your own shit and barbecuing all your neighbors for funsies, you give up the right to be treated like a human being. We live in literal monster land, and most actual monsters I meet are more human than what's living on Pandora.

[It's one of those topics Jack never misses an opportunity to go off on. Even though he's never going to see Pandora again it doesn't matter. Nacho piss smelling shithole. Of all the planets to be chock full of the rarest and most useful mineral in the galaxy....

But there's way more pertinent and happier things to focus on right now. Predominantly the amazing quasi-cyborg in his lap.]

Anyway...hell, I like showing off! And, uh...I don't know, actually? I've never done it without killing anybody, but I've never tried. Uh...I do know electricity fucks me up, though. It's the closest thing to getting high I've got as a robot. Dunno if that would do anything to ya at this point. Other hand, I've given plenty of little zaps during sex before without doing any damage or anything, so I probably could. How about you watch me do it before we give a yay or nay on that one.

[This rant is about when it finally occurs to Harley that she may not be getting the whole story on what was actually doing with that planet. Not that there probably aren't baby-eating degenerates who roll around in their own waste somewhere in the universe- heck, her hyena Bruce does at least one of those things, and he's one of her best friends in any universe- but somehow I'm the bad guy pings her radar.

In Harley's experience? If other people think you're the bad guy, you probably are.

Except Batman. His opinion doesn't count, that guy's a lunatic.

But it doesn't make much difference to the here and now; she's snuggled close, and catching pale blue metal out of the corner of her eye isn't making her stomach drop nearly as much as it did earlier.][But the idea of watching him is appealing. More than appealing.] And hey, that's a bonus! I mean at least you got some way to- voluntarily overvoltage? ...I'm going to have to come up with a whole new set of puns. Oh god, I'm going to have to actually learn how a computer works, aren't I?

[Angling one arm around Jack, Harley swipes a pack of cigarettes and an ashtray from where they sit on the windowsill.] Speaking off overvoltaging, you mind? Since you can't smell and all. I've been chainsmoking pretty much since I woke up. So you really built robots? Like real Skynet AI shit, or more the Danger Will Robinson kind? They weren't the mean trashcan-shaped ones from that one British kid's show, right?

Not as long as ya let me hold a lit one and pretend I can still enjoy the sweet rush of nicotine. Smoked from when I was a teenager right up until I didn't have lungs anymore. And eh...having some understanding of computers and complex electric systems wouldn't be a bad idea. If ya end up having to patch yourself up, it'll come in handy.

[Lord knows he's had to do enough minor repairs on himself. But he's more than capable of it. And sure, he can patch up other sims, but who's to say he's always gonna be able to do a patch job at the drop of a hat? He's got a life, he's got commitments and people who depend on him. It'd be a good idea to give Harley some tips and quick lessons. Robo first aide.]

And nah, nothing like that. I specialized in labor and combat robots. Always seemed a no-brainer to me. Why the hell would you use people for dangerous work or fighting off bandit hordes when you can use robots? But I only dabbled a little in full on AI. It...it gets messy, it gets weird, opens up all kinds of moral and philosophical worm cans.... I don't wanna deal with all that.

[Very few things in Jack's past bother him. He's a master at justifying and re-framing most of what he does to fit his own narrative where he is the chosen hero. But there's a small handful of choices that gnaw at the corners of his mind and make him uncomfortable when he thinks about them too deeply. His utilization - and consequential destruction - of a fully developed AI is one of them.]

Loader-bots were my big success. Human-shaped in that they got two legs and two arms and something you could call a head, but they don't look human. Again, that gets really weird really quick!

[No cigarettes, no liquor, probably no anything else- Harley hopes like hell that a little electrocution is a good high. That sucks.] Tell you what- I'll split one with you. That way yours don't go out. [Lighting a cigarette, she takes a drag from it, and tilts her head back to blow smoke out the window, offering it to him.]

No one told me monsterdom would come with homework. [...Okay, Slade had alluded to it, but she thought he was joking!] All right, I'll steal a book from the library or something. Stay in and get my nerd on.

[She nods along as he talks.] Some of that back home, too; all drones and aerial surveillance and snooping into everything. No actual robot enforcers, yet- well, [She has to amend, tilting her head.] There were some pretty cool robot suits, but they always had a meat person in them.

But a Loader-bot? No offense- they sound like I'd hire a couple of help me move out of my apartment. What do they load, exactly?

I'll bring ya some books from the labs, they're gonna be more useful than anything you find in the library.

[They may not be very ahead of the local tech scene, but they are ahead of it. Even so, Jack's own robotics work in Ryslig is mostly mass produced toys and fancy toasters.

He takes the cigarette, the feel familiar. It does suck not being able to smoke or drink or even eat a cheeseburger, but...what can you do? It's not like he has the physical cravings anymore.]

Whatever they were told to load! They clean, they fix things, they build things, they handle chemical waste and bomb components, hell they'll wipe your ass if you tell'em to! Plus they also have rocket launchers and lasers for a wide variety of practical applications. And I made these other robots that can just spit'em out like that. Dozens of loader-bots in a minute. And those also have rocket launchers and lasers, cuz really why build any robot if it's not gonna have rocket launchers and lasers?

[He passes the cigarette back, lost in fond thoughts of his massive robot army.]

Oh, and I did make a giant ass mech suit for myself, speaking of meat people inside robots.

[There's a brief moment where her smile is broad and bright; and Harley can almost forget that if she stood real still in a corner she could pass for a lamp. One thumb reaches up, brushes against his cheek.]

Ain't you sweet. Promise I won't spill anything on them.

[...Okay, there's definitely something about Jack that isn't quite adding up. From the way he talks, she'd assumed he was just some corporate CEO, like the Steve Jobs of the future, maybe. But first the stuff about the planet, and now this whole thing about cranking out war machine bots by the who knew how many- another puff on the cigarette, and Harley offers it back, turning to face him a little more fully.]

... Handsome, how'd you acquire that planet of yours? You buy it? Or did you- you know- just take it?

Claimed it, I guess is the best way to put it.

[Jack answers with no hesitation as he snags the offered cigarette. He's never hid his history here, or what sort of person he is. Why should he? Besides, he likes talking about it. He was essentially an emperor back home, who wouldn't wanna talk about that? ]

So, at the point in time I come from, space is still being explored. It's friggin huge, we've mapped out five galaxies so far, I'm in the sixth. And on the frontier, it's a corporatocracy. Corporations are in charge, there's no...countries or anything anymore, we gave up on that. It's corporations, and corporations have their planets, and you are whatever corporation runs your planet. My company, Hyperion, is the biggest and richest one!

Now Pandora...it used belong to Dahl, another company. But they just stripped it and fucked with it and decided not to bother with it. Dumped their worst criminals there and took off, wham, bam, fuck you ma'am. Nobody wanted it, which is how it got overrun with bandits and cannibals and terrible space monsters. I was just a mid-level employee back then, but I was working my way up the ladder, real go getter. Came up from friggin nothing. And I did some digging into Pandora, figured out it was chock full of a super rare and priceless mineral, and got Hyperion to claim it. I got put in charge of overseeing it and building a space station over it. And when I took over Hyperion, I took over everything.

[He'd be grinning proudly if he could be. Instead, the lights in his eyes just glow brighter and his tone gets more excited as he tells the story. And he's giving the abridged version, not even getting into the whole fighting the many tentacles horrors.]

And Hyperion loved me. I was, hands down, the most popular president there ever was. Everybody wanted to be me, be close to me, my face was on everything...you outta check out my display at the museum.

[It's not really therapist mode, that Harley's going in to. She did start doing it as a therapist, but hanging out with Gotham's crazies, you got to learn to take anyone's story as they give it to you. You learn more about someone from how they see reality, than by trying to argue with them that your version is the correct one. And heck; who's to say that it is?

That's why she nods along, trading the cigarette back and forth with him, and keeps her expression open and the smile on her face.] I just bet. A charmer like you, coupled with actual competency? That puts you ahead of eighty percent of the suit-wearers that I know, at least.

[It's not even a little bit of a lie. Whoever else Jack is, he's clearly not the all-bluster-no-muster type.]

So what did you do next? You got this big, pretty planet; all that good shit under the surface; populated by a whole bunch of psychos and crazies. You've got this whole company at your fingertips. How'd you get to the goods?

[Harley can handle a lot of crazy; but if he says that he killed them all and stripped the planet, she might have to ask him to leave. Because there's a body count, and then there's a body count.]

That's a long ass story! A good one, trust me, but it's long. Starts with these assholes trying to invade my space station, ends with me as president of Hyperion. But along the way I set up mining facilities, protected by robots. Then came colonies, but...yeah, not all of'em did so great on account of again, the bandits and cannibals.

[Jack sighs, shaking his head. There's so much potential to Pandora! It could have been a paradise! But no, of course not, it had to be overrun with the worst dregs of what passed for humanity.]

There's no law on Pandora, there's no respect for life. I can't even say life's cheap, cuz that would imply they put any value on it at all! No, they just kill each other all damn day. They kill anybody who ends up there. And look...sure, killing somebody to take what they have is the rule pretty much anywhere in space. And god knows I enjoy strangling an asshole or shooting a traitor or just plowing through my enemies with a huge ass rocket. Not gonna begrudge anybody that. But that's just all they do. If you're Mr. and Mrs. Average Hyperion Citizen on any other Hyperion planet, you know you can take your family out for a walk and no one's gonna blow your head off. You can't even leave your house on some parts of Pandora. Nobody's safe. Hell, those bastards were able to take out my grandma, and she was the toughest, meanest broad that ever lived.

[Harly has, it seems, stumbled onto one of Jack's favorite subjects. Once he gets going....]

Wait hold up. [Okay, this needs to be addressed.] ... Why was your grandmother on Pandora?

[Oh crap. Of all the things for Harley to seize on and ask about...]

Cuz she didn't want to live on Athenas anymore. Which was perfectly safe! I bought her a fancy house there and everything, she had a friggin robot butler. But nope, that wasn't the life for gran. She was fucking nuts.

[He shakes his head again, looking out the window himself now. He'd tried. He'd really tried. But she'd pushed and pushed and he knows the real reason she'd wanted to be there. So she could be close to him. She'd never forgiven him for getting out and making something of himself.

He really should have done the deed himself, he just hadn't had the time.]

But could we maybe not talk about my grandmother while you're in my lap? She was a mean old lady and she's gone now, end of story.

[There's a different kind of light in her eyes, as several things suddenly slot into place. The way it fits.]

Yeah, sure, we can drop it. In just a second. [Harley shifts around until she's fully in Jack's lap, straddling him, her free hand comfortably wrapped around his shoulders.]

You know, everyone makes fun of Freud? They think he was a horny old cocaine addict with some weird fetishes and that's all; but actually, the man made a lot of good points. It's just that it makes people uncomfortable to think about for too long, especially in the context of their own subconscious.

[One finger pokes Jack in his non-metal shoulder, as Harley takes a drag on the cigarette, blowing smoke past him.] So let me just ask you this, Jackie-O. Your Nan. She the one who raised you?

Eh, they were all weirdos, if ya ask me. Wasn't Jung into kooky occult stuff?

[But he's just stalling and avoiding the question. He's not thrilled with how quickly she's honed in on that. He really should have kept it in mind what she'd said she used to do for a living. Some things are things other people don't need to know.]

But yeah, she raised me. If you wanna use 'raise' as a really broad term. It's nothing special, though, everybody where I come from had a shitty childhood. But it obviously didn't hold me back any! I went on to be richer than god and more famous than Elvis, The Beatles, and Boss Nova all rolled into one!

[She has to reach behind her to stub the cigarette out in the ashtray; but Harley's eyes stay on Jack, lit up and thinking. The smile spreads over her face again; and she puts her hands on his cheeks, cradling his face between them.]

Course they didn't, Handsome. Look what you did. Look how much you accomplished. [The submission kink, the specifically professing a liking for bad-ass women who order him around- even the liking it rough. Emotional and verbal abuse at the very least, probably physical thrown in as well.

Freud was almost never wrong.]

Oh they were all freaks. It's just that they had a few good points to throw in there, too. [Her hands go back into his hair, brushing over it.]

Let's just take one more little short-cut; cause I'm stuck on this one, Handsome Boy, and it might be a biggie, you know? You- you didn't kill everyone on that planet with your big scary robots and then strip-mine the rock that was left of all its resources, did you?

[Thank god that's done with. And they're moving on to a much better topic of conversation! Jack settles some, looping his hands around Harley and threading his fingers together at the small of her back.]

Nope. Pandora's still covered in psychos and bandits aside from a couple of pockets. I did build a couple of colonies, a town, some mining facilities, was building an actual city, and made a nature preserve! Or...tried to. I didn't want to ruin the place, I wanted to make it livable.

[He would have wiped out all the bandits, but somebody broke his super laser.]

Don't get me wrong, I was trying to get rid of the cannibals and the bandits. But not citizens! And not the planet itself - what good is another dead hunk of rock? I was colonizing the place!

[This time it's Harley who settles some; her shoulders let go of tension she hadn't noticed she was carrying, and she eases back a little, letting his hands take some of her weight.]

Okay, well- that's good. I mean it's not great; 'colonizing' historically doesn't have super great connotations, at least in my point in humanity's history- but that's workable. [She shifts again, curling to sit sideways in his lap, so she can lean against his chest.

Which just brings blue metal back into her field of vision; Harley wrinkles her nose at it.]

... You know I'm kind of a psycho bandit, right? I mean, I know we touched on this before. Stealing is one of my many fine talents. Back home I once flipped my way through a laser hallway to steal a diamond as big as my fist, among many other excellent capers. Last one I ran before I wound up here found me stealing a kid out of lockup and protecting her from a whole city of thugs because she'd swallowed a damn diamond that was the only key to about three hundred million bucks. And then we saved the day and I stole her and the rock, again, from the actual rightful owners.

[Leaning close, she murmurs into his ear.] And I'm not exactly what we in the business refer to as 'stable.'

It's not like there's any natives I'm colonizing. I'm not taking it away from any actual people! Big difference.

[They're just empty planets, waiting for the taking. Would it make a difference if there was intelligent life? Eh...it would probably depend. But still. It's a distinction Jack likes to make.]

Oh, and really big difference there, babe. See, we call that a treasure hunter where I come from. You use full sentences and wear clothes as clothes, that already puts you miles ahead of bandits. You live in an actual home, you understand what utensils are. Not the same thing at all. I would love to see you flip through lasers and steal a diamond!

[He nuzzles into her at that last admission, chuckling low and with genuine amusement.]

Yeah...I knew you were my type.

All right, you know, that's fair on the colonizing. [Her brow's furrowed thoughtfully again.] So you really do mean it, that these guys went full on feral? But they were like, human beings? Not aliens? That's- that's so weird. Like I've seen people whose higher functions have degenerated that much, but like, as individuals. Not as some kind of systemic issue with the Genpop, that's- that's just weird.

[But Jack is very effective, as far as distractions go. There's an answering giggle, Harley hanging on to his shoulders when her balance shifts, and feet come off the sofa for a moment.] Aw, Handsome. Think you might be my type, too.

[Which is to say, charming, dangerous, narcissistic, competent, and giddy on a - well earned, in fairness - power complex. If he'd been the one who'd wanted to take control, that first hook-up, Harley might've been totally gone. Which is just as well; since gone ain't what she's looking for.]

Which reminds me- I'm, uh- just to be up front about it, I'm not- so much in the market for a relationship, at the moment. I still want to be friends- good ones, the kinds with all kinds of benefits. Just- I'm recently out of a pretty intense long-term relationship, and I'm still kind of sorting through all that, so, I'm not so much looking to attach any strings to anything. I, uh- hope that's cool.

Yeah, there's a lot of factors. One group of'em was just inbred to hell. Like...keeping sister-mom under the floorboards inbred, if ya know what I mean. Plus there's the toxic waste, and I'm not even gonna get started on the weird alien crap left behind by some super beings who yeeted off to another dimension ages ago.

[There's a lot of things that have gone down on Pandora to effect the various tribes living there. And Jack hasn't even gotten into some of the other stuff, the remains of Dahl and Hyperion experiments roaming around.

As Harley goes on, Jack just nods. He'd figured as much, but it's nice to have it confirmed and all out in the open.]

Oh, we're on the same page there, hot stuff. Communication! It's important. I know I glossed over it, but that's cuz talking about your dead girlfriend isn't mood setting chit chat, but I'm not ready to move on in the relationship department myself. I'll still buy ya stuff, though, cuz I like doing that kinda thing. And....I got one request. You have any fun freaky sex with any other hot monsters, I'd love to hear all about it.

[He doesn't get an 'I'm sorry for your loss;' but he does get a sympathetic hum, Harley curling a little closer, letting her hands rest against his choice.]

That's rough stuff, boyo. The roughest. Before we broke up, I spent like two months thinking my Puddin' was dead. You watch a helicopter crash and burn, you don't think anyone's going to walk out of it and come break you out of prison, later.

[She should probably tell him not to buy her anything... she's an Independent Woman now, after all... but hell with it. Who turns down presents? Instead she reaches up to press her fingertip against his nose.]

Suppose I'll have to find something nice for you in return, if you do. And ooh, same! I bet you got some of the kinkiest stories, being here for so long- hey, that reminds me- did you sleep with that white-hair angel boy? Slade Wilson- feathers, halo, couldn't crack a smile if his life depended on it? He said he knew you, but when I asked if you'd hooked up he wouldn't answer.

Yeah, it sucks, but what can ya do?

[Jack shrugs. He's yet to have a wife or girlfriend that didn't die on him. It's how things go, and most of his life in a culture where violence and murder were the norm...it's just a part of making connections with other people. There was a good chance they would die, probably horribly.]

[But it's all about living in the now, and right now he's got a friggin great lady right here. That wants exactly what he wants - no strings, no commitment.]

[He laughs some at her question, though, a little curious about the context of that conversation. But not out of any offense - regardless of a number of hyper-masculine traits, Jack has never been shy about his bisexuality.]

Oh yeah! I've had some real fun freaky sex here! Hell, Lu - my girlfriend - she was a friggin spider chick. Which did freak me out at first, cuz she was...waist up, lady. The rest of her, all spider. Also smashed it with a faerie dude, a flying cat chick, and a snake dude. Oh and a demon that one time. But no, I didn't hook up with Slade, didn't get any vibe off of him that was on the table. We know each other on a professional level, we'll call it. I like him, though! I'd totally pay him lots of money to take care of problems, seems like a dude who's real good at taking care of problems.

[A pause as a thought occurs to him.]

If that was some subtle way of asking me if I'm also into dudes, and therefor down for some group fun, that would be a yes.

[That actually gets a giggle out of her.] Nah; I was just looking for the goss. I'll be honest, Handsome, I kind of just assumed. You don't give off that 'two dudes sitting in a hot tub five feet apart cause No Homo' vibe... Well okay, scratch the hot tub part I guess, but the point is- [She shifts a little against him, just to tease.] You're definitely more of a 'variety is the spice of life' kind of man.

No- I don't get that vibe off him, either. Not sure that man's interested in anyone. But he is good at problem solving, I'll give you that. We're from the same place, sort of knew about each other in- professional circles, you might say.

[She ain't going to out the man as Deathstroke, not when he's clearly trying to keep it on the down low. And because the name wouldn't mean a damn thing to Jack. But-] Between you and me- the man's worth his weight in gold. If you got him handling your problems, they won't be problems for long.

But, more importantly- what the hell is a flying cat chick when she's at home? Was she like- like a sphinx, or something crazy like that? [Harley's wracking her brain for the last time she read a bodice-ripper that had fantasy in it.] Or, what're-they-called- a griffin? I think the griffins are the cat-birds, right? [Her eyes light up.] Did you do it mid-air? Because that would be sick as hell.

[Credit where credit's due- Jack has pretty effectively distracted Harley from looking down at the thing that is definitely not her leg. And she doesn't even have to worry about his legs going to sleep under her.]

Edited (Formatting fail like woah) 2020-09-09 03:25 (UTC)

Humanity's pretty evolved in my time, lotta open minds, lotta people just wanna have fun. Sex is fun, dudes are also hot, dicks are neat, it's all good! Why limit myself? I don't understand living if I'm not having the time of my friggin life whenever I can.

[There's no point otherwise. He doesn't even mind his lack of 'power' here. With enough money, it's basically the same thing. Besides, he's a robot. The majority of this place will do what he says just out of fear of getting eaten.]

I don't actually have any problems for him to take care of, exactly, but yeah, he does some stuff for me. Decent negotiator, too. So you guys come from the same place? I knew he was from the old country, so to speak, we talked about that some - about me being from the future.

[Interesting how out of supposedly infinite worlds, that happened. Multiple people from the same time and world. Like him and Tim and Angel.]

Uh...manticore. Cat body, scorpion tail, wings. And we tried but she was a petite lady, and a petite catwing monster. Couldn't really hold both our weight. But I have had sex in low gravity and that is amazing! Basically like doing it in the air!

Huh...come to think of it...she was a head doc who did crimes, too. Wrote books and shit.

[And had also been 'not what you'd call stable'. Way more obviously than Harley, in Jack's opinion. Apparently he really does have a very specific type.]

That's us; Gotham City represent. You do our kind of business, you tend to learn the Who's Who of who's out and about. [Well, okay; she'd definitely heard of International Assassin and All-Around BAMF Deathstroke. She's pretty sure he'd heard of her. And why wouldn't he? Maybe she's a local girl, but she's still Harley Freakin' Quinn.

But then her eyes light up, all kinds of distracted.] That's so cool! I'm so jelly; the closest I've come to low-g banging is doing it in a pool; which is fun, but it's not really floating, if you know what I mean. [Her teeth catch against her lip, and Harley reaches to trace her fingers of the long of Jack's jaw.] I've never even heard of a manticore. But she sounds hella fun. She still around? She- you know- single?

[She's only half-joking. Some smart hot lady running around with fur and weird parts? Harley'd give it a whirl, at least the once. But for now, her smile softens a bit, brushing her thumb against Jack's mouth.]

... Thanks for coming over, Jackie-O. It's nice to have friends; especially ones as fun as you.

[It's still jarring, turning to see pale white skin and pale blue metal. It still seems wrong. But at least she doesn't want to instinctively crawl away from it anymore.]

Pool sex is nothing like low grav sex! I had this one ex who was really into it....she turned out to be insane and not in the fun compatible way, but she was something else in the bedroom. Had this whole...sexy old timey clown with giant guns thing going on, I know that sounds weird, but it really worked for her. And I mean 'giant guns' in both the euphemistic and literal sense! It's really fun using a combustion gun in low-g to push yourself in the right direction.

[Too bad about the cheating. And the trying to kill him. And the blowing up his awesome, custom built super space laser. But he'd blown up something awesome of hers in retaliation, so it all worked out. More or less.]

And sadly, Hot Catwings is no longer with us, either. But I don't think you'll have any trouble finding fun buddies.

[He can't speak to ladies, he doesn't know how many legally aged women who are into other women are running around. Really just finding a woman old enough it doesn't make him cringe to consider hitting on her is a huge win. But there's plenty of dudes dtf, and most of them seem pretty equal opportunity.]

[But then he chuckles affectionately, shaking his head a little to brush his stiff mouth against her thumb in turn.]

Hey...anytime, dollface! Handsome Jack is here for you! What are friends for?

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