IC Inbox

[thedifferencebetween]

Handsome Jack here! I'm way too busy being awesome to answer the phone, but tell me why you're calling and if you're important enough, your people will hear from my people.

Comments

<BlackHat>

[evilopportunityemployer]

I thought you would be a fan of the concept. It's settled, then.

What clown?

< H.Jack69 >

[thedifferencebetween]

the giant fucking clown head

its how u get in

u go thru the clowns mouth

<BlackHat>

[evilopportunityemployer]

I see.

[There's a brief pause before Black Hat stumbles on the perfect solution!]

We'll turn it into a facsimile of my head. Much more fitting.

< H.Jack69 >

[thedifferencebetween]

oh yea cuz when ppl think of a imposing metal face they think of URS

nice try

<BlackHat>

[evilopportunityemployer]

And what is your alternative proposal, then?

[He can already guess.]

< H.Jack69 >

[thedifferencebetween]

if its gonna b 1 of our faces it should b mine

metal face hello

<BlackHat>

[evilopportunityemployer]

Your mouth doesn't even open. Are they just going to plow right through your screen? People will mistake it for a sculpture.

If we want to thrill and frighten, sharp teeth and inhuman is a must. And I provide both.

< H.Jack69 >

[thedifferencebetween]

ppl need to walk thru it we cant have a bunch of sharp teeth. that's gonna slow the line down way 2 much

ok gonna make this easy 4 u

its my park so it gets my face

<BlackHat>

[evilopportunityemployer]

Top row only, obviously.

And what exactly were you doing with that park before I offered this suggestion? As the mind behind this, I will have representation.

< H.Jack69 >

[thedifferencebetween]

ive been busy

u realize i COULD just cut u out entirely & do this myself now that u gave me the idea

im the one with a whole tech company & a bunch of engineers at my disposal + a complete labor force

im being real reasonable here cuz i like u

u wanna talk compromise we can talk compromise

<BlackHat>

[evilopportunityemployer]

And yet with all those things at your back you've let it sit there gathering dust. I've only given you a mere sampling of what I have in mind; this would hardly be my first go-around with a resort of this nature.

Reaching out to you in the first place is already a great deal of compromise on my part. But fine.

At least some people will need to exit the park; there's your head for that, cheerfully inviting them back again soon.

< H.Jack69 >

[thedifferencebetween]

bcuz im busy with so much shit

thats how i stay stupidly rich

i wud have done sumthing with it on my own at sum point

u think ive never designed a theme park b4? bcuz i have

jackland

ur head can b the ass end

<BlackHat>

[evilopportunityemployer]

It was my solution, so I deserve the front.

[This is stupid. He's realizing it's stupid. He's going to win this argument though.]

Hang the clown for now. We'll deal with that later. For now: plans. Themes. Ideas. With enough hands we'll whip it into shape in time for the Samhain season. I've already put some forth; what do you have aside from resources?

< H.Jack69 >

[thedifferencebetween]

fine

samhain? oh u mean bludy harvest!

fire

all kinds of fun things u can do w/fire! shoot it at ppl

make em walk thru it

herd em with it

electricity 2

charged floor panels

trick doorknobs that electrocute u if u pick the wrong 1

rig a couple ferris wheel seats to fry sum balls

the possibilities r endless buddy!

<BlackHat>

[evilopportunityemployer]

Bloody harvest? I like that. There certainly will be blood involved.

Fire and electricity are both good. A dance floor with both of them will really light up the fun! Pity it'll have to be mostly non-lethal; we won't have much sustained business if the customers are all dead.

Perhaps an acid pool? Pop it under a trap door as a nasty surprise for a misstep. Sharks as well; I doubt we'll be able to combine the two but individually they serve well enough.

Oh, and the ferris wheel. Loosen it up a bit, make it more rickety than it needs to be. Those things are dull as the dickens and I'm not having a safe refuge ride under my management.

< H.Jack69 >

[thedifferencebetween]

where the hell r we gonna get that much acid? or sharks? i mean i dig the idea but were working on a deadline

i got exactly the rite shit 4 the dance floor

been working on heat pads 4 scaley monsters

can rig a bunch up 2 flux btween warm & uncomfortable & hot foot

not deadly but livens things up & gets the crowd moving

we can rig the wheel 2 start & stop suddenly 2

<BlackHat>

[evilopportunityemployer]

I'm thinking in the long term here. Flug is gifted but even he can't make sharks immune to corrosion in a month with what he has access to. If you're worried about transportation of the animals, that won't be an issue. We'll shrink them down, bring them in, let them loose, and revert their size.

The dance floors must be electrified, yes. Put a few spots of it in the mirror maze as well, encourage our guests to get through a bit faster - or smack into a mirror multiple times! We'll need to install cameras to watch.

I'll leave the mechanics to you and Flug. I will handle the atmosphere and presentation and future expansions. I foresee this being a rather enjoyable business venture, Jack.