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[thedifferencebetween]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, HANDSOME JACK. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 021.07.222.57 *** H.Jack69 has joined 021.07.222.57 <USERNAME> First sentence of message. <BANNED USER> SCREENED MESSAGE. UNSCREEN? Y/N -- sample for when you ban someone <USERNAME> First sentence of message. <USERNAME> First sentence of message.

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[thedifferencebetween]

Have a little patience there, huh? It's not like it comes off easy. I'll do it, you don't even know what you need to unscrew to get it loose.

[Jack pulls down his pants and kicks them off, screwdriver and metal file in hand. The entire plating portion that needs to be removed is solid black, all the little clasps and screws blending in and painted to match. Jack's chassis mimics Hyperion built robots, sleek and streamlined.]

It's a good thing I like fucking you so much.

[Otherwise he wouldn't be going through this effort. He does turn around to get to work, aware it's not a sexy show to start taking bits off of yourself. Besides, his robot ass is amazing - if not functional.]

[pocketspa]

[It's a very good thing Jack likes him so much, because he's going to like him less in about fifteen minutes. He leans back like he doesn't have a care in the world, one hand drumming his claws on his hip, the other propping up his head as he lounges sideways across it. He looks like a particularly accomplished magician, which like, he kind of is when he's not here. All he's missing is the raised leg, which he will stick up in spirit.]

How could you not like me, I'm a delight. Just keep thinkin' about the payoff, my guy, I think you're gonna be real surprised.

[He's not lying, exactly. There will be a surprise. And someone will get a payoff, just like, probably not Jack. It's fine.]

[thedifferencebetween]

I said I like fucking ya, cupcake.

[Yeah the payoff better be real good, this is a pain in his ass. Or crotch to be specific, as he finally gets the framing panel loose and pops open the sleek little curve of metal that stabilizes his synthetic cock. Then he's finally able to undock it from its port. It always feels so weird when he does that - not that he does it often. But he has to every so often, to clean out his nooks and crannies properly with canned air, and oil the joint segments down there.]

Okay, here, but I need a minute to close things up down in Southern Jackland.

[The paneling and framework is swung open, nothing but a roundish hollow of black and yellow metal where his dildo-like cock normally is. Said cock is in his hand, looking exactly like a dildo now, being extended out to Taako.]

Don't start playing with it till I'm done.

[pocketspa]

[Well someone's gonna get a payoff, but the likelihood of it being Jack is in the negatives at this point. Taako's grinning so goddamn wide, looking very anticipatory for this whole ordeal.]

Oh yeah, trust me babe, that's not gonna happen.

[Mostly because of what happens next. Taako takes the dildo from him, and waits for him to turn his back again as he slides off the edge of the bed.

And then the end of his tail hits the knob on the door, tossing it open.

The thing about nagas that Taako was delighted to get to experience is that they're fucking fast. For being so long, he can go faster than he could run before, able to duck and weave with ease. So as soon as the door is open he is bolting his way out towards the front, a laugh on his lips.]

Thanks for the gift, Jack, really gonna put this one to use!

[Most people might have some kind of shame of running out of a house with a big dildo in their hand, but those people most certainly aren't Taako.]

[blap_blap]

[You know what? Tim doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve to come home after work, get up the steps to the porch and barely have his hand on the doorknob, only to get nearly nailed in the face by the door as a snakeman flees the house, fleshy dildo in hand. It waggles back and forth in Taako's hand as he flees the scene of this heinous dick crime and it's just... it's in his brain now. He will never be able to get the image of that firm plastic schlong out of his head for the rest of his life. It is a burden that he has to bear. A dick burden.]

[Tim just... stares after Taako as he flees, slithering down the street like a maniac with a sex toy in hand. A lot of weird shit has happened to Tim in his life, but this is. This is something else.]

...What the actual fuck?

[thedifferencebetween]

[The shit just happened?]

[Jack hears the door, Taako laughing...did...did that just happen? Is this happening? This can't be happening!]

[He looks down and then to the door and no, oh fuck no. Pantsless and dickless, Jack clumps down the stairs in a cacophony of whirring joints and stomping feet. He may be strong and possessed of incredible endurance, but he isn't particularly fast. Something he deeply regrets at the moment.]

[Noticing Tim in the doorway, he at least has the decency to grab a sofa pillow to cover his current (lack of) shame. Nobody needs to see him dickless.]

[Why is his roommate just standing there??? He's a giant bull man, he can wrestle a snake! Fail, Tim! Epic fail!
Neverminding that Tim would have no idea what was happening, or that tackling Taako would have been prudent, but those are fine details that Jack just isn't concerned with right now.]

Did...did Taako just go by? Why did you let him go?!? He has my junk!

[blap_blap]

[Sorry, Jack, but Tim heard your metal ass clomping down the stairs and had already turned towards the source of the noise. He just... gets an eyeful of bareass naked metal Jack, except that his whole crotch region was only just barely more featured than a Ken doll. He got flashed by a man who had nothing to flash but the groove where a dick should be, and therefore nothing to actually cover with that cushion. But like... thanks for trying?]

[He looked at Jack, then out into the street that Taako had disappeared down. He gazes out into the middle distance with a thousand-yard stare that would impress a war veteran.]

I could never be paid enough for this.

[He steps back out onto the porch and closes the door.]

[pocketspa]

[Taako does not stop as he barrels past Tim-- in fact, Tim is the perfect dude to be right here right now. If Jack had the opportunity he might have been able to grab the end of his tail, or even yell at someone to stop him, because Jack seems like the kind of dude who might actually yell down the street that his cock just got capered. But he gets away with it and that's what's important.

His laughter can be heard on the wind as he speeds off back home, to send Jack pictures of him taking selfies with his dick with googly eyes glued on in about 3 more hours.

Tim isn't paid nearly enough for this, because Taako certainly took his check today.]