thedifferencebetween

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Handsome Jack here! I'm way too busy being awesome to answer the phone, but tell me why you're calling and if you're important enough, your people will hear from my people.

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hey pops. hvnt seen u in awhl. hwz ur heart? stil alive? x

type like a real person, please,
sweetheart.

you know damn well my heart is fine. just been busy, my wife showed up.

??

ppl who hve a stroke arnt usuli f9.

oh? whts her name? is she hot?

ffs youre not even using l33t right.

i am not 59.

shes nisha, that sexy cowgirl chick you might have seen around HQ.

oh no. is it annoying? im sooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry.

not 59. f9. fine. now whose not doing it right?

oh yeh. good job. i should say hi.

yeah it is because i know l33t.
im a super genius computer guy. youd type '|=1|\|3'.

id think youd know by now that i have great taste.

oh pops. such a grumpy old man. x

i guess so. your boyfriend is pretty hot. how are the two of them getting on? bet its busy in your house.

i am not grumpy or old. im in the prime of my freaking life here.

felix is super hot. sos nisha. ha! yeah, one of the first things i ever said to felix was 'so if my wife ever comes back were gonna want to bang you'. thats pretty much how we got together. they get along great.

all those arent mutually exclusive~ xx

sounds like your having a killer time. id swing by but im afraid what id walk into.

i cant be old AND in the prime of my life. old literally means PAST prime.

oh come on weve got a 14 year old kid in the house. were responsible adults. bedroom shit stays in the bedroom.

you realize people who say that are usually old people right?

very responsible! your surprise me! i will have to come visit then.

for crying out loud....

im not a pervert! yeah, you should. we got a pool. with a bar. and its good for manaka to have other kids over. young people. whatever.

<3

i never said you were pops. now im excited. can i bring jinx? she pines if i leave her behind.

youre lucky i like you.

yeah, sure. pool party at my place. shit ill make felix go buy a nice grill we can barbecue and all that crap.

awwww i like you too

sounds perfect to me. i warn you though. im a hearty fucking eater.

you better, the shit i put up with from you...

you should see nisha at a buffet. its like one of those nature shows about predators.

its how i show love

sounds like my kind of girl

yeah you 2 are gonna get along.

so what have you been up to?

i look forward to it

ive been trying this whole badge thing. its not so bad i guess. i like the discounts they get me.

and jinx wants to take this whole 'missions for HQ thing' seriously for some reason. i dunno. i just let her get on with it.

yeah ive been getting some badges.
its a status thing.

well good, you should to. i do. thats how you move up in ranks. thats why im your boss.

yeh im still not sure i totally get it but whatever.

why would i wanna do that?

you are? i forgot.

because you get perks and you get more money and youre in a better position to actually turn this stupid group into something competent.

seriously? yeah, i got promoted. ive got my own private room at base now and everything.

what kind of perks?

you have? is your name on the door?

exert yourself a little and find out for yourself.

i'm not telling you that. youre gonna go looking for it and do shit to my things.

but i have a first hand source right here.

what? nooooo. id come visit you. bring you shit for your desk.

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