IC Inbox

[thedifferencebetween]

Handsome Jack here! I'm way too busy being awesome to answer the phone, but tell me why you're calling and if you're important enough, your people will hear from my people.

Comments

[moneylogues]

that's a good way of describing it. i mean, fuck, okay, the job i had before i got here, that would've set me up for life. but fuck if that meant i was gonna settle down once i got my paycheck

i'm even almost starting to miss getting yelled at about following protocol. that's fucking dire.

and i guess there's that. pretty much the closest thing to excitement here. not really the same though

[thedifferencebetween]

this kinda life isn't for guys like us. i WAS set for life, like twenty lives, and i was still going.

so what you're saying is i should start bitching you out for putting the ice cream back with like half a bowl left in the carton? cause if ya miss being yelled at, we can fix that.

hey, van and i left the last batch with broken limbs and shit! it helps. plus then ya get to take their stuff! come on, you could have a crying,
whining little asshole rolling at your feet, gripping his broken, bleeding arm, begging you not to take his Pokemon...

[moneylogues]

lol you could fucking try but it wouldn't work and also fuck you fight me about that ice cream.

it's more that it's weird without my partner i guess. even if he did constantly bitch.

[He sends that and immediately kinda wishes he hadn't because wow, fuck implying he needs Locus. Even though he does.]

okay alright that is pretty sweet and you sure know how to make it sound appealing.

i mean it's not the same when you can't outright kill people, but i guess beggars can't be choosers

[thedifferencebetween]

one of these days i will, friggin hate getting out the carton and there's hardly any left...

wow. sorry i don't measure up. it's not like you're alone.

see? silver linings, babe. wanna go out this weekend, shake down some trainers? maybe find some in a cave or something? rough'em up and take all their shit?

[moneylogues]

that sounds like a problem for you. buy more ice cream.

oh don't get like that, it's completely different, you guys aren't in the same category. you don't wanna be in the same category as fucking locus trust me

[he says like he didn't have the exact same sort of codependent mess going on with Locus as with Jack. Just... worse.]

man you always know what to say

sounds like a dream date to me

[thedifferencebetween]

it's a problem for everybody. you buy more ice cream!

what? you pretty much just said 'i'm bummed out 'cause i miss this dude'.
what, exactly, are you missing? obviously i'm not providing it.

ha, we can steal their clothes and make'em have to walk back to town in their undies. it's not cold enough that they'll die or anything.

[moneylogues]

i'm not the one bitching. you do it.

yeah because he's my partner. in my job. which i miss. he's just part of that package, i don't see you getting all jealous when i say i miss knives and guns dude come on

yes. fuck yes, i'm in.

[thedifferencebetween]

you're not the one who always gets to the carton last!

WAS your partner, sweetcheeks. see, that's the kind of thing that makes me ask this stuff. i mean we both know what this is, but i like to think there's actual affection underneath it all. don't get me wrong, i know you'd still stab me in the back if you had good incentive, but that doesn't mean there's not some feelings involved.

[moneylogues]

which, again, makes it YOUR problem

oh my god are you really getting hung up over this? seriously? you know you're getting jealous over a guy i hate right. i mean literally we hate each other. he doesn't get me the way you do, he's got too much of a stick up his ass

[he's not dodging the question, YOU'RE dodging the question]

this isn't A Thing

[thedifferencebetween]

what? you're the one who brought it up! but fine, alright, i'll drop it. and won't bother pointing out that you only really hate somebody you've got strong feelings about. even though it's true. and seems really relevant.

but if you say it's not A Thing, fine.

go buy me some ice cream.

[moneylogues]

you know, you wouldn't have made such a big deal out of this if you knew what he's like. just saying. but yeah. dropping it.

fuck, fine

[thedifferencebetween]

consider it dropped, geeze.

the good kind! oh, actually....no. get some of that dark chocolate brownie in vanilla ice cream shit and a case of a really dark beer. i saw a thing about making booze floats, i wanna try it.