Handsome Jack here! I'm way too busy being awesome to answer the phone, but tell me why you're calling and if you're important enough, your people will hear from my people.
[Steven doesn't have too many clothes here yet, but he changes into his nicest shirt and slacks, along with a pair of dress shoes. No cologne, but he doesn't have any here yet and anyway, he wouldn't just to have drinks with a friend. Which as far as he knows, this is.
He brings his two Rocket starters--Charley the Misdreavous and William-the-Bloody the Woobat--mostly because he wants to show them to Jack, see which he thinks are photogenic enough for his card company. (Both of them, he hopes. Pokemon Charley loved the idea of having her picture taken when he brought it up to her.)
He loves the bar almost immediately. It's the kind of swanky place that he likes going to with his straight friends and his work friends, which he assumes Jack is going to be. At least, Steven hopes they're going to be work friends. He's a bit crude and a bit of an asshole, granted, but he seems to do well by fellow Rockets and honestly? Steven's gamed with a lot worse people over the years than Jack seems to be. You can't be in nerdy circles, even on the downlow, without building up a tolerance for obnoxious shitheads.
And, you know, he's friendly and generous with his booze and most importantly an actual grown adult person. Steven could do a lot worse when it comes to drinking buddies.]
My god, and to think I was bitching because Fail Whale sprayed me in the face a couple times. I had no idea.
It's like that old song, I swear - all extremes, ain't no in betweens. Life's either tooth sickening sweet and all that, or the world's on the brink of ending. Or you're getting stuck up a tree by a Pokemon.
[Jack shakes his head, chuckling a little.]
But there's almost no consequences? You can't die here, you just...pass out and wake up in a Pokemon Center with one of the clone nurses looking after ya. I know, because some asshat tried to beat me to death this one time.
It didn't work.
[It should have, but...that was how this place worked. It's weird but he's not going to complain about it. He's always wanted immortality!]
But there's some cool stuff here, and I tell ya, I'd kill to be able to take apart some of the tech they use. The warp pads and Pokemon storage is a lot like things I've got back home. And I come from a state of the art space station I designed myself.
[Yeah, okay, let's not think about being beaten to death, not when it's been one of his number-one re-occuring nightmares since, fuck, about the time he realized he liked boys.
Steven will just. Drain his glass. And maybe pour himself some more.]
I mean, that's pretty damn impressive. I certainly couldn't do that. There's absolutely nothing like Pokemon storage or warp pads back home. Nothing. Hell, most people haven't been into space! I haven't!
Yeah, you're pre-expansion. That's what we call the time before Earth was just...all used up and we left it behind and colonized other galaxies. I actually made my empire on advanced tech - weapons, robots, luxury items. I started in computers - was kind of a prodigy, when it comes to computers - and I got into weapons and robots later on.
[Jack never misses an opportunity to talk about himself, even when he's not actively trying to impress somebody. Which he is. Tim got to him, earlier. It's as much a matter of principle as it is Jack being physically lonely and without prospects.]
Aside from the cannibals and the space monsters...future's pretty bright! But how about we don't talk about the terrifying reality of space colonization? We're having a fun night! A good time! Shit, I haven't hung out socially with another company man -[By which he means Rocket] - since my husband got yeeted back to his dimension. That was a couple years ago. Feels good!
Want another bottle of the sparkly, or ya wanna hit some harder stuff?
[That's an enthusiastic agreement from Jack. And then he laughs. Loudly. He slaps the table because that's one of the funniest things he's heard in a while.]
Me? No, no, I'm like pizza. Everybody's welcome to a slice. Hell I was in a thruple for a while. Like I said, buddy, fun's fun! I've had three wives and one husband - common law. We were work partners and just...he got me. We understood each other, we spoke each other's language, he was hot as hell. Started out pretty casual but...like I said, when all the right factors line up, no reason not to go for it. We had a good run, I see him sometimes on the weird weekends when all kinds of people show up for a few days...
[He shrugs.]
But...uh...no, I am very much not straight and it never occurred to me you'd think I was. Especially considering the conversation leading up to me asking you out for 'drinks and casual hanging out'.
The...oh, yeah, it's not like that here. Luckily this world has future-level views on the whole thing - nobody cares, two dudes just had a big public wedding, there's no separate anything. No one's getting segregated just cuz they like dick.
[It's no big deal, there's no need for special bars or clubs or whatever. It still boggles Jack that there was a time when it was different, that it used to be some huge complicated thing.]
And I mean obviously what this ends up as is up to you, I'm not some kind of creep, but...hey, I'm single, you're single, neither of us is looking for anything other than a little fun...let's just say fun is on the table.
But then where do you meet people if there aren't-- you know. Spaces for people like us? Unless there's some sort of Grindr for the pokegear? People here just really-- Hell. I don't know. Just hit on whoever? With no thought to consequences or safety or--?
[No consequences. That's what Jack said before.]
This isn't just because we can't die, is it?
[SORRY HE NEEDS TO GET PAST THIS BEFORE HE CAN CONTEMPLATE FUCKING YOU, JACK.]
I mean....yeah! I've ended up hitting on some straight dudes and some lesbians, and they were all cool about it. Look, I've watched plenty of pre-expansion stuff, I get it used to be dark days and all. But I can promise you this - that changes! Nobody cares if you're sleeping with other dudes, chicks, robots, a hologram cryptid you paid somebody to program for you...doesn't matter. Hell, I got a casino back home....there's a whole part of the red light district that caters to robophiles.
[The future is amazing! And Jack's more than happy to let this poor and maybe closeted guy that it's fine, he can be himself and no one's gonna give him shit.]
And this world...there's no robofuckers but it's the same deal. Who you like to date is about as important as your eye color around here. We could make out right here and nobody would bat an eye.
[If they were in a gay bar or at pride then sure! He's up for it! But this is far too public for him, at least this soon. Holy shit.
Is there enough for one more glass of wine in the bottle? Yes. Yes, there is. He's going to just. Pour it out and gulp it down.]
Jesus.
I mean, I get it, it's better in the future. I just hadn't-- for all the crazy tech here, most of it seems so-- I don't know. Normal. For my time. I'm just-- this is great, but it's a lot of culture shock. You know?
I mean, the last relationship I had fell apart because the ballot measure to re-outlaw gay marriage passed and when my boyfriend complained about it, I pointed out that the counter campaign had been badly organized and hadn't had nearly enough minority outreach as it should have and everything just spiraled from there.
Yeah I still think it's friggin barbaric there was ever a time when there were laws about who you could marry. That really sucks. But it's also nothing you gotta deal with anymore.
[A pause.]
Aside from the extremely small pool of other adult men available. That's...that's a bitch. I'll be completely honest with you....me. This. I am your options. Unless you're willing to screw down and I mean in the age sense.
[Because to be fair, a thirty seven year old hitting on a twenty something year old is a lot less creepy than a fifty something doing it. But even then, as far as Jack's been able to tell, the young'uns pair off quick.]
Well and presumably there's the people who actually live in this world. But I doubt I'd want anything more than a quick fuck with any of them.
[Congratulations, Jack, you have somehow over the course of this conversation made it into Steven's mental list of people he actually trusts. Which means little-to-no self-censorship anymore.]
And I mean, as far as younger men go... it really depends how young. Grad school age, maybe. Much younger than that and it plays into those old, tired stereotypes. I'm not gonna be a goddamn chickenhawk.
Plus...mmm, even a quickie with any natives can be risky for guys like us.
[Natives are way more savvy about Team Rocket than other transplants. It's a liability, in Jack's opinion. Desperate measures.]
But no, I get what you mean. I got a cut off age, too, it's just...yeah, it paints a really bad picture that is not mine. I'm a hedonist, I've got no shame there, but for fuck's sake I've passed the half century mark. It's just icky to sleep with people half my age. Plus...eh, I prefer sex partners who know what the hell they're doing and aren't drama llamas. The younger crowd...they can be clingy, make something into what it's not, it gets messy. I don't wanna deal with that.
Company men. Yeah, I can see that. And no, I don't want to deal with that shit either.
[He sits back in his chair and eyes Jack thoughtfully. The mask might have been a little too much before El Pecador took him, but he's seen weirder at the freehold since they busted back through the Hedge. Otherwise... he's not bad looking. Not at all.]
The real question is: I fuck you, is this going to turn into anything else?
[Jack just shrugs. Probably not, he guesses, but it's not like he can predict the future and people and attachments are weird. But right now...no, he's just looking for some fun with somebody he doesn't have to keep up appearances with.]
I'm not looking for anything else, unless you're interested in being a kept man. I'm down for fuck buddies and I foot the bill, it's a very clean and simple arrangement I've done plenty of times before. I like ya, you're a smart dude, you're good looking, I've enjoyed talking to ya and hanging out. But this isn't a date or anything, and I'm not looking to date you.
[Jack doesn't care, and this just means he saves money. And he doesn't doubt tonight will go well, he's never had a single complaint. He knows what he's doing in the bedroom, especially if he puts in effort.]
God, I gotta say, it's nice to have somebody else sane and rational around here. You dunno how starved I've been just for a good conversation, never mind the rest of it.
Yeah, I like Dirk! He's a good kid. [By Jack's standards.] Fun to talk to, really liked my unicorn. And Carly's my favorite, she sends me Pokemon she thinks I'd like.
[And sometimes reminds Jack of his own daughter, which inspires a bit of fondness.]
Florida girl...oh, the yelly chick in the woods? Holy shit, she's got spunk! You know when they say somebody's a firecracker? That's her, that is what they mean. I've only talked to her once, but hell, she'd probably do okay in my world. But yeah, they're all kids. I've really had to adjust my topics of conversation around here.
Fair enough. I just try not to drop many f-bombs on the public network or share any sordid details, and I spend a lotta time talking about Pokemon. Which okay, yeah, this world is obsessed with them. But I'm not that dude who's life is his pets.
[He's never going to be that guy. Even the ones he actually likes quite a bit and puts effort into.]
I mean...glad ya did, things worked out pretty friggin well! Once you figured out I go both ways, anyway. Oh, by the way, since I remembered you come from olden times.... I'm not one of those guys who gets his masculinity and identity all wrapped up in whether or not he's top bunk or bottom bunk if ya get my drift. They're both great.
It's just more fun that way! Switching it up, getting the best of both worlds...
[It's very clear exactly what Jack's view on sex is. Casual and easy going. It's not like this is even some rare move due to his circumstances, Jack's quick to make a move on anyone that's good looking and possibly amenable. And this is why. Even if nine times out of ten it doesn't get him anywhere...there's the one time it does.]
So yeah, you wanna call top, that's fine with me. Been a while since I got ridden good.
[Honestly it's been a damn long time since Jack was on the receiving end of things. It'd be nice. This is gonna be a good time, this was a good call.]
[Screw you, Jack Number Two, he hasn't lost his mojo at all.]
[It's a numbers game. Steven's familiar with the idea, from the days before hook-up apps. He'd done a fair amount of himself when he'd first moved back to San Diego, after he'd found the local gay scene.
But no, this is good. This is great. He's never been a romantic about relationships--he can romanticize people and ideas but that's different--and honestly? Casual is what he's comfortable with.]
Been a while since I've had a chance to ride.
[Honestly, what little he's had since escaping fairyland has mostly been in the way of handjobs and mutual masturbation.]
You like blowjobs, right?
[Because it occurs to Steven that if he doesn't have a mouthful of razors anymore, there's something he very much misses that he can finally do again.]
Re: TIMESKIP TO ACTION
He brings his two Rocket starters--Charley the Misdreavous and William-the-Bloody the Woobat--mostly because he wants to show them to Jack, see which he thinks are photogenic enough for his card company. (Both of them, he hopes. Pokemon Charley loved the idea of having her picture taken when he brought it up to her.)
He loves the bar almost immediately. It's the kind of swanky place that he likes going to with his straight friends and his work friends, which he assumes Jack is going to be. At least, Steven hopes they're going to be work friends. He's a bit crude and a bit of an asshole, granted, but he seems to do well by fellow Rockets and honestly? Steven's gamed with a lot worse people over the years than Jack seems to be. You can't be in nerdy circles, even on the downlow, without building up a tolerance for obnoxious shitheads.
And, you know, he's friendly and generous with his booze and most importantly an actual grown adult person. Steven could do a lot worse when it comes to drinking buddies.]
My god, and to think I was bitching because Fail Whale sprayed me in the face a couple times. I had no idea.
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[Jack shakes his head, chuckling a little.]
But there's almost no consequences? You can't die here, you just...pass out and wake up in a Pokemon Center with one of the clone nurses looking after ya. I know, because some asshat tried to beat me to death this one time.
It didn't work.
[It should have, but...that was how this place worked. It's weird but he's not going to complain about it. He's always wanted immortality!]
But there's some cool stuff here, and I tell ya, I'd kill to be able to take apart some of the tech they use. The warp pads and Pokemon storage is a lot like things I've got back home. And I come from a state of the art space station I designed myself.
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[Yeah, okay, let's not think about being beaten to death, not when it's been one of his number-one re-occuring nightmares since, fuck, about the time he realized he liked boys.
Steven will just. Drain his glass. And maybe pour himself some more.]
I mean, that's pretty damn impressive. I certainly couldn't do that. There's absolutely nothing like Pokemon storage or warp pads back home. Nothing. Hell, most people haven't been into space! I haven't!
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[Jack never misses an opportunity to talk about himself, even when he's not actively trying to impress somebody. Which he is. Tim got to him, earlier. It's as much a matter of principle as it is Jack being physically lonely and without prospects.]
Aside from the cannibals and the space monsters...future's pretty bright! But how about we don't talk about the terrifying reality of space colonization? We're having a fun night! A good time! Shit, I haven't hung out socially with another company man -[By which he means Rocket] - since my husband got yeeted back to his dimension. That was a couple years ago. Feels good!
Want another bottle of the sparkly, or ya wanna hit some harder stuff?
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[It takes him a second with the wine, but then--]
Wait, husband? I thought you were straight.
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[That's an enthusiastic agreement from Jack. And then he laughs.
Loudly. He slaps the table because that's one of the funniest things he's heard in a while.]
Me? No, no, I'm like pizza. Everybody's welcome to a slice. Hell I was in a thruple for a while. Like I said, buddy, fun's fun! I've had three wives and one husband - common law. We were work partners and just...he got me. We understood each other, we spoke each other's language, he was hot as hell. Started out pretty casual but...like I said, when all the right factors line up, no reason not to go for it. We had a good run, I see him sometimes on the weird weekends when all kinds of people show up for a few days...
[He shrugs.]
But...uh...no, I am very much not straight and it never occurred to me you'd think I was. Especially considering the conversation leading up to me asking you out for 'drinks and casual hanging out'.
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My god, I could have asked you where the gay bars were.
[That. Wasn't what he meant to say. He'll just drain his glass again]
So. This was a hook-up?
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[It's no big deal, there's no need for special bars or clubs or whatever. It still boggles Jack that there was a time when it was different, that it used to be some huge complicated thing.]
And I mean obviously what this ends up as is up to you, I'm not some kind of creep, but...hey, I'm single, you're single, neither of us is looking for anything other than a little fun...let's just say fun is on the table.
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[No consequences. That's what Jack said before.]
This isn't just because we can't die, is it?
[SORRY HE NEEDS TO GET PAST THIS BEFORE HE CAN CONTEMPLATE FUCKING YOU, JACK.]
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[The future is amazing! And Jack's more than happy to let this poor and maybe closeted guy that it's fine, he can be himself and no one's gonna give him shit.]
And this world...there's no robofuckers but it's the same deal. Who you like to date is about as important as your eye color around here. We could make out right here and nobody would bat an eye.
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[If they were in a gay bar or at pride then sure! He's up for it! But this is far too public for him, at least this soon. Holy shit.
Is there enough for one more glass of wine in the bottle? Yes. Yes, there is. He's going to just. Pour it out and gulp it down.]
Jesus.
I mean, I get it, it's better in the future. I just hadn't-- for all the crazy tech here, most of it seems so-- I don't know. Normal. For my time. I'm just-- this is great, but it's a lot of culture shock. You know?
I mean, the last relationship I had fell apart because the ballot measure to re-outlaw gay marriage passed and when my boyfriend complained about it, I pointed out that the counter campaign had been badly organized and hadn't had nearly enough minority outreach as it should have and everything just spiraled from there.
Jesus.
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[A pause.]
Aside from the extremely small pool of other adult men available. That's...that's a bitch. I'll be completely honest with you....me. This. I am your options. Unless you're willing to screw down and I mean in the age sense.
[Because to be fair, a thirty seven year old hitting on a twenty something year old is a lot less creepy than a fifty something doing it. But even then, as far as Jack's been able to tell, the young'uns pair off quick.]
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[Congratulations, Jack, you have somehow over the course of this conversation made it into Steven's mental list of people he actually trusts. Which means little-to-no self-censorship anymore.]
And I mean, as far as younger men go... it really depends how young. Grad school age, maybe. Much younger than that and it plays into those old, tired stereotypes. I'm not gonna be a goddamn chickenhawk.
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[Natives are way more savvy about Team Rocket than other transplants. It's a liability, in Jack's opinion. Desperate measures.]
But no, I get what you mean. I got a cut off age, too, it's just...yeah, it paints a really bad picture that is not mine. I'm a hedonist, I've got no shame there, but for fuck's sake I've passed the half century mark. It's just icky to sleep with people half my age. Plus...eh, I prefer sex partners who know what the hell they're doing and aren't drama llamas. The younger crowd...they can be clingy, make something into what it's not, it gets messy. I don't wanna deal with that.
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[He sits back in his chair and eyes Jack thoughtfully. The mask might have been a little too much before El Pecador took him, but he's seen weirder at the freehold since they busted back through the Hedge. Otherwise... he's not bad looking. Not at all.]
The real question is: I fuck you, is this going to turn into anything else?
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[Jack just shrugs. Probably not, he guesses, but it's not like he can predict the future and people and attachments are weird. But right now...no, he's just looking for some fun with somebody he doesn't have to keep up appearances with.]
I'm not looking for anything else, unless you're interested in being a kept man. I'm down for fuck buddies and I foot the bill, it's a very clean and simple arrangement I've done plenty of times before. I like ya, you're a smart dude, you're good looking, I've enjoyed talking to ya and hanging out. But this isn't a date or anything, and I'm not looking to date you.
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[It's not just a matter of pride, although part of it is. The rest of it is how close it comes to being owned again.]
Fuck buddies, sure. If tonight goes well.
[Fuck knows he needs someone he can relax around.]
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[Jack doesn't care, and this just means he saves money. And he doesn't doubt tonight will go well, he's never had a single complaint. He knows what he's doing in the bedroom, especially if he puts in effort.]
God, I gotta say, it's nice to have somebody else sane and rational around here. You dunno how starved I've been just for a good conversation, never mind the rest of it.
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[Connie's almost certainly got to be a college student.]
Florida Girl wasn't bad either. Definitely just a kid, though.
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[And sometimes reminds Jack of his own daughter, which inspires a bit of fondness.]
Florida girl...oh, the yelly chick in the woods? Holy shit, she's got spunk! You know when they say somebody's a firecracker? That's her, that is what they mean. I've only talked to her once, but hell, she'd probably do okay in my world. But yeah, they're all kids. I've really had to adjust my topics of conversation around here.
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[After a moment he adds,]
Which was why I messaged you privately. Because I wasn't going to talk about screwing around in front of a bunch of kids.
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[He's never going to be that guy. Even the ones he actually likes quite a bit and puts effort into.]
I mean...glad ya did, things worked out pretty friggin well! Once you figured out I go both ways, anyway. Oh, by the way, since I remembered you come from olden times.... I'm not one of those guys who gets his masculinity and identity all wrapped up in whether or not he's top bunk or bottom bunk if ya get my drift. They're both great.
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I prefer top bunk, but I can do both.
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[It's very clear exactly what Jack's view on sex is. Casual and easy going. It's not like this is even some rare move due to his circumstances, Jack's quick to make a move on anyone that's good looking and possibly amenable. And this is why. Even if nine times out of ten it doesn't get him anywhere...there's the one time it does.]
So yeah, you wanna call top, that's fine with me. Been a while since I got ridden good.
[Honestly it's been a damn long time since Jack was on the receiving end of things. It'd be nice. This is gonna be a good time, this was a good call.]
[Screw you, Jack Number Two, he hasn't lost his mojo at all.]
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But no, this is good. This is great. He's never been a romantic about relationships--he can romanticize people and ideas but that's different--and honestly? Casual is what he's comfortable with.]
Been a while since I've had a chance to ride.
[Honestly, what little he's had since escaping fairyland has mostly been in the way of handjobs and mutual masturbation.]
You like blowjobs, right?
[Because it occurs to Steven that if he doesn't have a mouthful of razors anymore, there's something he very much misses that he can finally do again.]
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let me know if you want to fade to black or go on!
I AM GOOD GOING ON! SMUT WARNING HERE ON OUT
OKAY I WILL TRY MY BEST AT WRITING THE PR0N
NO WORRIES!
Re: NO WORRIES!
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OKAY THIS IS WHERE THE DIRTY STUFF *REALLY* STARTS
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