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Handsome Jack - Hero of Pandora ([personal profile] thedifferencebetween) wrote2017-10-03 09:42 am

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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, HANDSOME JACK.

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ikonsuit: <user name="ikonsuit"> (π’”π’˜ + figures)

<strokesdeath>

[personal profile] ikonsuit 2020-10-04 01:30 am (UTC)(link)
Same reason I got married, started an AA group, and talked to you for hours about how much you love your kid.

I was high for a week straight. Doesn't need to go any further than that.
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< D.Stroke69 >

[personal profile] ikonsuit 2020-10-04 02:00 am (UTC)(link)
Smart choice.

Didn't say you don't. Only said I was high enough to listen.

Watch your weaknesses, Jack. Wouldn't want someone to come along and make a target of them.


[ It's a shame that this well-meaning advice comes across as more of a threat. As it were, Slade is just terrible at well-meaning advice. ]
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<cellist>

[personal profile] ikonsuit 2020-10-04 03:06 am (UTC)(link)
Don't remind me.

Sure. Thought it was pretty clear cut, though. 44 pages to say 'you cook, I kill'.
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<cellist>

[personal profile] ikonsuit 2020-10-04 03:41 am (UTC)(link)
It’s been known to happen.

Tends to work out better when everyone’s on the same page. In those instances.
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<cellist>

[personal profile] ikonsuit 2020-10-04 10:59 am (UTC)(link)
You really want to know how often I sleep with my bosses, Jack?

As my boss, I’ll have to question your professionalism.
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<cellist>

[personal profile] ikonsuit 2020-10-04 04:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Right.

And you’re the dude who signed them.

So where does that leave us?
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<cellist>

[personal profile] ikonsuit 2020-10-04 05:45 pm (UTC)(link)
'Lobotomized' is one word for being drugged past the point of recognition. It’s good that nothing happened. Can’t imagine the person I was then would have allowed it to go past handshakes and high-fives, anyhow.

And I don’t expect anything. That’s the point. Cover the bases if we frack (can’t swear, you know what I’m trying to say), don’t lose sleep if we don’t.

Doesn’t really matter how it goes down. The list was boilerplate standard. I’m sure you’ve seen it before.

But since we’re on the topic, what *can* you do?
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<cellist>

[personal profile] ikonsuit 2020-10-04 06:41 pm (UTC)(link)
No offense taken.

And don’t worry. I’ve got knock-knock jokes to keep you on your toes.

Haven’t done anything with tentacles since my tour in Japan. Most I can do is electrocute and make you feel like shoot

sheesh*

shiitake mushrooms*

for a while after. But electricity doesn’t mix too good with your type. Gonna leave that one off the table.
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<cellist>

[personal profile] ikonsuit 2020-10-04 08:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Don’t throw electroshocks at an electrobot. Got it. Thanks for the tip. Couldn’t have figured it out on my own.

Seriously, Jack. I’m not going to zap you. Any of you. I don’t want you dead, and I think I’ve had my fill of monster killings for the time being.

And contrary to popular belief, I don’t find murder to be all that sexy.


[ He’s read the fanfics. He knows what people think. ]
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<cellist>

[personal profile] ikonsuit 2020-10-04 10:29 pm (UTC)(link)
So you talked to Harley. Doesn't matter if you don't believe me, but I'll tell you anyway: it was an accident.

[ Unlike with Adeline, Slade won't blame Harley for throwing the first punch. ]

Funny. Murder was also on my agenda. Didn't end with sex, but murder alone rarely does it for me.
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<cellist>

[personal profile] ikonsuit 2020-10-04 10:52 pm (UTC)(link)
She's favorable, yeah.

But killing is a job. It's taking out the trash and washing your hands afterward.

Foreplay is a sparring match. Or a fight in the kitchen, but only when you're both in on it. Don't need corpses; those are a dime-a-dozen. A good challenge has more merit.
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<cellist>

[personal profile] ikonsuit 2020-10-05 12:59 am (UTC)(link)
Not why I kill people.

[ But the rush does just sort of happen. Sometimes. It’s a case-by-case basis with that one. ]

But sure, tell me all about your latest power trip and how you probably get off on telling people they’re fired. Seems like a thing with you corporate types.

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